I say “real” because the day after his birthday party he stared to display the real thing.
Skyping with a girl long after we had gone to bed at 11pm.
Sleeping in the next day until 11:30am when the rest of us had to go to school and work but he had the day off as school finished a day earlier for holidays.
Freaking out that I would even think of posting a picture of him on my blog without his full choice and approval. How embarassing and gay that is.
Three new behaviors it seemed overnight. This must be the real thing!
Happy 14th Birthday Chase!!!! We joked that in 2 yrs he will acually be able to drive a car-that is so frightening! To all of us and our neighbors too:)
Chases laughed at himself saying that it might only be possible if he grows quite a bit or the pedals might be too far away. Or we might have to build some special contraption to suit him and his car. I am so thrilled by the confidence of this kid. I love that he loves who is is-exactly at this moment. He even suggested I call my blog post by this name (makes me feel at least I did something right as a mother so far)
Since Chase’s bday is on December 31st…we normally celebrate after the holidays in January as it get’s lost in the shuffle otherwise and would never want to do that to such a special day.
This year we took him by surprise though. It started when his two buddies at school (who I had planned this out with) showed up at his locker when school ended on Thursday at lunch and told him to look for an envelope in the bottom of his school bag. This is what he found:
It gave him and his two friend’s money and directions to go to Thai express for his favorite soup bowl and Pad Thai.
Then it asked them to go home where Hubby would pick them up for a skydiving lesson at SkyVenture. He has been asking to do this for a while but I kept saying it was way to expensive (which it was).
Afterwards back home for a homemade Chinese dinner with chicken friend rice and eggrolls and really yummy chocolate cake with icing all made by our angel housekeeper Geri.
It was so sweet I was working late and so was Hubby so Beauty got the table all set and the candles on the cake and everything all by herself without even being asked. I though this was so sweet……. kids of working parents tend to end up being pretty self sufficient sometimes!
It was interesting a year before this at 13yrs old if Chase had received that note in his backpack he would have been widely excited and appreciative. This year it was toned down..as in toned down alot..
as in he did not call or text me at all and I had to an hour after they left school had to text him to see if he had gotten surprise at all!
At first this upset me and thoughts of “why is he ungrateful, why is he not saying thanks in an excited way. And why is he not calling me ,his Mommy ,with all his excitement?”
Then I sat down to lunch with other. women from work with teenagers and they all told me the same thing. This is what happens at 14-18yrs olds-especially boys. They do appreciate everything, but don’t necessarily express it in the way they always used to.
They change for a while and then come back. Especially boys. Usually if they don't do this there is something wrong...they are skipping a normal phase of development or feel they need to please their parents and win their approval. Guess I can live with this rationale.
So I shut up and kept my thoughts to myself. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and out it out of my mind all day and evening.
By later that night he came and gave me one of his amazing hugs and thanked me. And even later that night (after his girl skyping session) when I was tucked away at midnight in my bed , he climbed in beside me and lay with me and cuddled with me and even asked to sleep there. I would have let him but wanted him not to hear alarm at 6am so I shooed him out…but it felt so good to have my snuggly boy there.
He said his thanks..in his own way..in his own time.
Here he is with his candy poster with 14 things on it to eat and fourteen things we love about him. He is opening his birthday basket in bed of course at Trent.
This is the night of Dec 31st B-day at our friends house for New Years Eve. She is so sweet she always does a little something on New Years when we are together to underline his birthday. We have such good friends with such good kids. They have all grown up together like cousins. What a blessing. We celebrate all important occasions together and I feel so blessed to have this group in my life. Chase always has an amazing birthday party as we are a pretty wild group at New Years's. I love that the Sweethearts and the Holidays always make a big fuss over Chase's bday and don't just throw it in there with New Year's. I think this means alot to him.
And January 9th when we are back to work at school Chase will have his family birthday dinner with Nana-Didi and us. He will choose the menu of course and we will enjoy a family dinner at home. He will get to do no chores and sit back and relax while we all take care of him and dote on him as we should on his bday. Usually for him he requests to lay there-pull his shirt off and have we all massage his back.
14yrs old you are my boy-I almost can’t believe it. It’s been a big year for us baby (even if you don’t really know it) I have let you go in so many ways- as I needed to. I have learned to love you every bit as much, and every bit as fiercely, but have freed up part of you for the outside world to access. I have set you free in the most beautiful way I knew how to. I gave up that "racket" I told you about. This for me was my secret gift for you...and my extremely difficult but rewarding gift for me.
Happy Birthday Sweetie.
I love you fiercely and forever.
