Sometimes in life there are moments where you just want to run away and hide and pretend you are not the parents of “those kids over there”. I had a few moments like that myself over my holidays in Stowe where I prayed that no one in the pool would associate me with those three, whining, loud and misbehaving kids.
I prayed even harder they never stumbled on my parenting blog where I hand out my amazing advice to many!
Well there are other days that come along where as a parent you just feel so proud of your child and yourself as a parent too You sit back and you think “Oh my God…..this is incredible. I had something to do with this behavior?”
Last night was one of those times. At parent teacher night with Chase at the high school.
So yes we were there to meet a few teachers, and were “invited” to these meetings. So you get the picture right? We were not so proud to be there in the first place.
You “get to go” if your kid is has less than perfect grades and he is not meeting up to his potential or if his behavior is less than exemplary. Or sometimes you have the pleasure of being asked there on both accounts.
For the last number of years ,whether in high school or primary school the parent teacher meeting has been about the parents and the teacher and not the kids. The kids basically always have to come ready to discuss issues but they are mainly the spectator and are asked to answer a question here or there or comment here and there:
As in” Why is that so little Bob that you laugh at the teacher when her back is turned in the class and try to put gum under her shoes?”
"Duhh- I dunno"
Well this year we have taken a different approach and trust me I will never go back to my old ways.
Chase was in charge of his meetings with his teachers and we were the spectators. He was asked by us to prepare for a good hour the week before on all the points he wanted to discuss with each of them He was asked (ok ordered) to run all 4 of these meetings by himself and we would be there to support and watch. He was asked (ok again ordered) to come prepared with his notes.
We never saw the notes, or discussed what he would say. It was his thing. We had no clue what "him running the meetings" would look like.
It was probably the most beautiful moment of all of our lives besides the birth of all three children (this may not even be a joke).
At each meeting he pulled out his manila folder with his pen attached and his computerized notes and he opened the discussion (not even ordered to do so!!). He was clear, to the point, talked about what he felt was fair or unfair about his marks or comments on his report card and what he agreed or disagreed with. He was organized, articulate, respectful and clear.
He used the French “vous” (which implies the utmost respect) and used the most proper and articulate French I have ever been witness to outside of France!
He even opened his meeting with his art teacher by saying :
Je veux vraiment discuter avec vous quelque chose très important. Je pense que peut-être on a des différentes perspectives? Peut être vous le voyez come telle et moi je vois de même…le problème c’est peut être que c’est difficile de mesurer la créativité? »
Honestly, I watched all four of the teachers very intently and all four seemed at one point or another to almost lose balance and fall off their chairs.
Je veux vraiment discuter avec vous quelque chose très important. Je pense que peut-être on a des différentes perspectives? Peut être vous le voyez come telle et moi je vois de même…le problème c’est peut être que c’est difficile de mesurer la créativité? »
Honestly, I watched all four of the teachers very intently and all four seemed at one point or another to almost lose balance and fall off their chairs.
I saw such respect for him in their eyes, they were also so proud of him and they told him so and recognized his attitude, his organization and his go getter style. He scored some major brownie points at the school last night.
(Actually come to think of it he was the brownie. These teachers ate up my son and his attitude like a delicious little dessert topped with whipped cream).
I am not sure his Dad or I have ever been so proud of him in our lives.We like having a teenager so far!
So all this to say…..in some of his courses his marks or behavior can use some major tweaking ,but what impressed me so much last night was what I have been searching for all of the years with my children
He has been listening and understanding what we have been telling him. He is actually manifesting some of these behaviors at appropriate and important times. He is choosing these behaviors as his own without us pushing (too much anyways).
Basically I sat back and let those beautiful moments seep right into me deeply as I know they won’t come along too often.
We all went home feeling filled to the brim with pride and hope for the future. That night I felt like every family night, every family dinner, every blog I have written, every conversation and every thought that has gone obsessively swirling though my head about my kids…made it all worth it.
For that one moment of glory.
I am not sure I will ever rob from my kids again the opportunity to run their own show when they are perfectly capable of doing it on their own. How dare I take away these amazing opportunities from them?
From now on parent teacher night has taken on a whole new meaning.
He may have not earned an A+ in every subject, but we were thoroughly impressed by this kid.
And I get to be related to him.
Based on last night performance I would have seriously hired him.
