Today my Protector and I went on a beautiful fall walk through the woods, up a large hill, through a quarry and onto the golf course. The fall colors were the most incredible I have ever seen them. Or then again maybe for the first time..I gave myself both the time and permission to really indulge in them.
We passed the kissing bridge in the colors, and climbed
the mountain in the rustling leaves. In the golf course we sat and rested for a
few minutes and looked out to the mountains and lake in their perfect splendor.
I am not sure I have ever seen anything so beautiful.
So I asked my Hubby for the camera phone and tried to
capture it through the lens but the result was not even half of the reality of
it. I deleted the picture quickly.
I love photography. I have never taken a course in my
life but have a ridiculously expensive camera and a smaller mid priced one. I
love them both. The pictures I produce are pretty good especially portraits.
Most family and friends I know have at least one picture I have taken framed on
their walls somewhere in their homes. I enjoy taking photos but have never put
any effort into it.
Someday I dream of a day where I can actually learn about
it more and produce beautiful things. Take in the light and works with it. Have
my own darkroom.
Part of me however will likely never take that
photography course, or try and get the perfect light, or work in a darkroom to
make someone’s flaws disappear by retouching.
All because I love the fleeting moments of life too much.
I like indulging in them far too much and so much more than the capturing of
them. I don’t really believe in taking in too much for later…I believe in
enjoying these moments ridiculously now.
Letting them be fleeting and allowing myself and my
family that indulgence.
That moment at the golf course and those leaves. The smell,
the textures the light.
The lake and the way the leaves reflect in the shimmering
water.
The sounds of the waterfalls and streams and their Fall
and Spring cascades.
The look on my eldest son’s face as he tells me tonight
that he is anxious about growing because he is scared if he grows too much
before April that his new ski jacket won’t fit just right as it does today.
The look on my daughter’s face as she watched the
ballerinas at the openouse with longing and passion.
The homemade lasagna and “moules” being prepared in the
kitchen so perfectly with care and consideration.
The fire in front of me outlined by the windows with the
stars and moon shining through.
My middle son and the way his face lit up last night as
he described the 7 new friends he made and went to the movies with.
Can
it ever really be captured? Should it?
Now I have just as many framed photographs and albums as
the next…guilty as charged. I spend at least 3 full days a year organizing
these pictures, and collecting them and framing them and displaying them. And
the joy it brings to me and my family is beyond explanations.
I am also the person who is severely annoyed by the guy
at the hip hop show who sits behind the videocamera and tapes his daughter’s
dance. Or Mom at the choir show who makes all of our daughters poses after the
songs instead of letting them giggle and feel the pride of their recital. I don’t like the Moms who fight with their
kids and scream at them and then make them pause for a pretty pose before they
all start fighting again (that is me often!!). Often I just feel like shaking
the person beside me (or shaking myself) and say:
Just enjoy it. Indulge. Let it Be. Let them Be. Imprint
it on your mind and your heart. Breathe it it.
I also don’t like camera frauds. People who dress family
up, make it look all good, but really it’s a fake moment. What are we trying to
prove to whom?
Because I believe that a picture speaks a million
words…and I will always believe that but I also believe that we often hide behind
technology and don’t let ourselves fully absorb.
That we want to control those fleeting moments and try
our best not to let them get away..when really they were all meant to.
And just like blogs, although we can capture a lot of the
essence, we can never really capture it fully. Only life can do that to us.
As we live it fully and let it be fleeting. Because we
can’t always catch what is falling and slipping away.
Somethings are
meant to be nothing more than lovely mere moments.
