Decision Day:

There’s a bench by the Lake near where I live near a beautiful park and overlooking some gorgeous historical sites. When my Dad died we almost named a park bench after him…but decided to do things differently in the end.

I associate these lake benches with my Dad (the good parts), my childhood, God and prayer in many ways. When I sit on them and look out to the lake….all that is good comes to me. I often sit there and make big decisions or wish for things or think of important things. I guess it is my form of praying..although the person who I believe in charge ultimately…is me. So praying to me.

So today Oct 22 was an important day on that bench. I made 4 big decisions in about 3 minutes. I can’t even believe that I dragged my ass out of bed super early this morning and walked my daughter to school to get to that bench after being at Laronde late last night for a Halloween celebration with a bunch of our friends and their kids.

Decisions: (when I publically acclaim something you can me sure I will follow through)

Number 1-My husband is getting that property to own that he wants to move his office into. That is certain and the deal will be sealed by December 31^st. He is so ready and deserving and we will make this happen for him. Watch out Buddy-here I come!

 

2-I am coming into full circle with one of my kids. Believing in him, his capability, letting my worry and anxiety go on many levels that I use an excuse for many other things in my life that need worrying about. My husband and I are deciding as of today that we are doing things differently. No more scapegoat. Things are changing around here. We are setting him free from our own limitations we have set for him that have nothing to do with reality, and he is more than ready and capable.

 3-I am going for it at work! Reaching for the high fruit in my present job over the next number of years and then planning ahead for after that and beyond. I am going for it-and going to bring my current job to a whole new level of passion, excitement and be doing some amazing things for the company I work for (and myself).

 4-I am going to keep secretly believing in my oldest brother, as hard as he is making that for me right now. I am going to keep having faith that he is going to put things back on track. I still believe.

So there it is people!

And along with this I am more mindful also because of Sister Savvy’s post this week. I am talking it all in and enjoying the constant beauty surrounding me.

And along with that putting up with the crap and forgiving myself for all the naughty things I do and the bad decisions I make (aka: screaming many many times this weekend "shut up" to the kids in loud and angry tones, thinking all my family are idiots in my head most of the weekend, going to Laronde right before final exams and my kids too dizzy to sleep, not being able not to burn a frozen pizza, and skipping my workout this morning at the gym because I am being "naughty" and enjoying the hell out of it.).