This expression came to mind the other day as I played the same tune over and over again in my car..something about a girl wanting the boy to come and mess up her bed with her.
In English the closest translation would be something
around being teasing, mischievous, flirty and sweet. We don’t really have an
exact word for “coquin” in English because from my view French woman are a lot less
uptight that your regular ways of the Anglo-Saxon (don’t worry I am English and
not French too!)
I remember my Hubby’s biggest fear of marrying an English
girl was exactly this….that I would somehow not be as daring or as spontaneous
and mischievous and those French women he has always been with. The fact that I
rarely drink alcohol went and goes super against me in his books…. (to him this
is truly a weakness of mine and I get that..it must be so darn boring to drink
alone so often).
Also he likes tight jeans and high heels (a Quebec
speciality that I have not mastered).
But overall despite being sober and wearing Uggs….I am
very coqin. Sometimes incredibly coquin actually if I want to be and I think my husband really
appreciates this about me.
So as I listened to that tune, I became really sad
however because I realized that coquin has a lifespan and a time in your life
and that within 6-7 yrs max for me this stage of my life will pretty much be
over.
Something about that girl wanting her blankets to be
messed up by a boy reminded me of me. The way she sang it, said it suggested
it. That is really who I am..”Come have fun with me and who cares about the
messy bed” Ok so in my married and three kid’s state it is not about a bed, but
likely more about other things. “Come to my very appropriate couples dinner
party, have a blast, wear what you feel cozy in, bring most the food, get
tipsy, mess up my house, serve yourself whatever you wish, snuggle with me
under a blanket boy or girl, forget the dishes bc that is a waste of our precious
time together, let me hug you like crazy the things I love about you, and send
you home with a doggy bag of food for the next morning. And okay feel free to
go upstairs and see my unmade and messy bed bc quite frankly….I don’t give a
fuck. I would rather spend and extra 10 mins with you than to worry about the
way my bed looks”
There you have it. Moi.
And that is Coquin as far as I see it. Nice but mischievous.
Proper but not always and not necessarily often either.
But it made me sad that to think that in about 6-7 yrs I
would not have the looks to match this. For some reason in my mind coquin looks
youngish. Coolish. Stylish. Yummyish mommyish. Sorta of like me and all my just
turned forty friends. We don’t wear My Mother’s Jeans (yet). We are cool enough
(or so we think) and plenty of boys still look at us in the corridors at work
(we hope). Although bikinis may be on their way out for us in the last 12
months or so….we wear cute dresses and tall boots or sweat pants and ugg boots
with little tank tops and our hair in ponytails. We may not look as great as a decade
ago..but we still look good (we think). We wear Spanx but noone sees it anyways
so who even cares. Yes we are rounder, have more celulite, have a wee bit of face fat......but we still believe we are cool so doesn'tconfidence count for something anymore???
If we flirt or are mischievous we come across as still somewhat
ok (I think). We are not over the hills yet and we don’t bore our husbands to death
(half the time anyways).
But I found it sad to think of a time that is closer than
I would like when I will not have this trait anymore to depend on. Instead it
is more likely I will be wearing Depends. How will I navigate my life, my
career, being a Mom, being a wife, having dinner parties….if I am not cute,
adorable, mischievous, flirty, sexy or coquin? Or at least be convinced that I am? Each year I seems to get worse
and worse. What is it about forty that is Fabulous again? Is it that I am
supposed to be smarter and wiser? Yuck! No thank you. BORING!
And don’t give me that bull about seniors being every bit
as sexy. I don’t think soo….and yes I know that I am only 41 and have a way to
go, but still…..it seems all downhill in the coquin department as of now and
onwards no?
So as I played that song and heard about her messy bed
and blankets, I realized that while I still have it I have to access that part
more in myself and build on it. Somehow I am just not ready to move on from it.
Is this what a mid-life crisis feels like?
So Hubby…I will try…I will try..to like more wine ok?????
If I must I will wear my skinny jeans with high heels and not clunky boots just
for you-possibly. Maybe in the dark in our room where none can laugh at me or
the fashion police can put me in jail.
But what I promise with all of my heart is that our time
together, our moments, our conversations, our cuddles, our chats will always be
more important than a perfect made bed like the one we saw this weekend at our friend’s
house. It is just not us..it is just not me. I will solemnly promise you never
to make our kids make their beds and praise them most days of the week for
living in the moment.
D’etre coquin. Let’s try and make it last as long as
possible. Together. The whole bunch of us.
