Is it in your job? Your family? Your friends? Your hobby?
Your child’s smile? Your circumstances?
Does your happiness disappear when you don’t get that
promotion, your daughter loses a friend, your offer on a house does not get accepted or when someone close
to you is sick?
Can you ever get it back if someone dear to you dies, your life
crumples, or you live through a true disaster?
Where does your happiness live? Where does it go for you?
Do you put most of your eggs in one basket of happiness in life or do you
spread it around in different areas? Does your happiness come in one major form
or many little ones all mixed together?
Is it independent or dependant? Do you like it that way?
I got to pondering last night what makes me happy, what
keep me that way? I did not come up with the full answers yet. I am left still
wondering.
I did realize last night how much of a toll it has taken on me in my life to have lived with a Father who was so unhappy for such a large part of my life. The impact that his constant unhappiness and sadness and depression and anxiety had on me. Did it push me in the direction of happiness or unhappiness? Do I feel I even deserve it? Can I even handle once more ounce of unhappiness and hopelessness around me anymore?
One thing I know for sure though is that in raising my
kids-my biggest wish for them is that
their happiness and confidence comes from as deep inside of them as possible.
That my goal as a parent should be to ensure that they get to keep that
happiness with them permanently and not give it away and let go of it often
depending on the situation that surrounds them.
To teach them that happiness is their right. It belongs to them and is theirs.
If they can get this and believe in themselves fully…I
feel as though I will have done a good job.
And that they will grow up into the types of Mothers and
Fathers one day that they need to be.To have the ability to be rained on while still
holding an umbrella over their child’s head. And most importantly to know and
realize that the rain will stop and the sun will come out again. And even if it
doesn’t..that they deep inside of them have the capacity to get under that
umbrella all cozy with those kids. Or alone in the rain umbrella or not. With only
their smile-because it is part of them.
