It’s official I have a new full time job!!

Worrying about my kids illnesses and driving them to every specialist under the sun.

It is unbearable. And crazy. And time consuming. I really don’t get it.

We are NEVER EVER sick. What the hell is happening? Is it the air in my house or mold or something???

Anyways give me the ADD, the migraines, the colds, the flus, the gastro. Bring them on.

Keep away the nasty’s ok?????????? That is all I can say.

 

This year is ridiculous just 21 days in.

But…I do have to say that it taking care of these sick children and sick husband and sick me has brought out a very nurturing side of me. It has certainly taken care of my goal to “be present”. That seems to be the only place I am actually present lately.

Interesting enough I read an article this weekend in Oprah this week that probably affected me the most an article has in a while (and remember I read A LOT) It was about a mother who had a daughter who they thought has  a mass on her brain but after 4 months ended up fine. And daughter was fine. And she talks about how even under the most scary and dire of circumstance stop andjust enjoy your children and your time together in the present. Not wallowing in the past or hoping for what was or what might have been. But loving what it.

As crazy as that may sound.

But something about it struck a chord like never before for me and I thought

“How true”

 So today even my carefully laid out day was obstructed by divine intervention and threw me a loop of hours of wondering if Bear was due for a CAT scan of the brain at 4:00pm…..I was able to control my thoughts. And enjoy my boy. And my girl..and my boy. When everything went wrong today, I viewed it from a different lens and I just felt lucky to have the privilege of having them to take care of. I started seeing all the tests I  still have to do with him later this week not as a burden and a worry but as time to enjoy each other and to be with him. Exactly as he is right now.

 

And I was glad to have the ability to joy be thankful for today. Simply that.

And since I wore my magic charm necklace I knew that everything would be perfectly ok. And I still feel sure of that.

I don’t know how long this feeling will last as it is truly foreign to me, but I liked it today and was thankful to have experienced it at all.

For one of the first times, I felt peaceful on a very un-peaceful day.

And strong in the company of me .