I get asked the question at least once a week: Is it expensive to send your two, soon three kids to high school?
And the answer is yes it is very, very costly.
From the monetary view it takes a toll for sure on the
bank accounts (much less here in Quebec since French private education is subsidized
by the government) but that is not the cost I am talking about exactly.
I am talking about the sacrifices we all have to make to
have them there.
And I never really notice it to the degree I do until we
get a break from it all, like right now on Christmas holidays. To put it quite
frankly…these kids work their butts off. And because of that the parents do
too…and our whole life 9 months a year is structured around the demands of the
school put on both the students and the parents.
Each choice we all make for our families in life has cost
and benefits. Playing hockey year round comes at a price, soccer in the summer,
having a second home, having a competitive gymnast or a daughter on ski team. being
actively involved in a church.They can all have huge advantages but also high
emotional prices in many ways.
So our school comes at huge costs. When I hear parents of
the same age kids telling me there kids had a big week because they had 2 exams
and one project due…..I am envious because that is just about every single day
in private school. There are no weekends that are without homework. Getting gas
at the station has to be times that fit in after skiing as they have to get
home quickly and study. At least 6 hrs on most weekends. In exam periods then
the entire weekends.
There are uniforms to be pressed and choirs to be sung
in. Every sport under the sun is practiced and equipment bought for each.
Church is attended in school and 16 hrs. of volunteering per semester required.
The list can go on and on and on…
Fundraisers, Everest, mount Kilimanjaro, emails written
home daily about progress etc..etc…
So what exactly do we do this to both ourselves and to
our children? Is it the quality of education? To some degree…but so much more
than that. It is quite plain and simple that they are kept stimulated and alert
and distracted and too busy to get into trouble.There is virtually no time to
do so…and when there is all their friends are at their own cottages and their
own sports with their families. You buy out of lots of trouble in provide
school here.
I am sure there is still some, definately, but I can tell
you that in grade 9 there are virtually close to zero parties with alcohol, no parties
period where kids are getting into trouble, no mall hanging, and not a whole
lot of trouble going on. When there are situations like this the kid is quickly
given a warning and kicked out of school which happens too.
Maybe in the older grades like grade 10 or 11 you see
this more but the school has a huge reputation and all the students goals are
to stay there and out of trouble. For whatever
reason the kids as hard as they work and as strict as the rules are worship
the ground this school sits on. It is the biggest status symbol as a
teenager to get to go there.
I speak to many with kids the same age where there are
parties to go to and alcohol being drunk while the parents are out or upstairs.
Not here, not yet. I have questioned dozens of parents and get the same answer:
the kids are too busy to get in trouble. And busy with good things mainly;
engagaing and beautiful things.They all talk, the kids, they dream of the
alcohol and the drugs…but most of them do not do it or take the chances. For now it remains all teenage talk and no action.
So is this good or bad? I don’t know…I think good but
sometimes I wonder? On vacation right now decorating a Christmas tree, having
time to read with the kids by the fire, having time to play outside and shovel
snow seems like a huge luxury. And that makes me sad for our lives and our
choices. I want this in my life away. I always had it before and I miss it
terribly.
From what I have heard however during these turbulent teenage
years you often have to choose-the pressure and stress of high performance
school and their expectations or the
pressure of peers and parties. You get to sit there and watch the study
or you get to worry about them being out late at night. Apparently those are
the two choices.
And we choose the education. But it is so very hard on
all of us and the times we have to sacrifice for it all.
As I watched Mr. Kruger’s Christmas last night though I
thought that many of the choices we make are hard work. The friend that recommended
it to me is very religious and I am certain that it is hard work to take the
time and commit to the religious education of a family in many ways. It takes
time and effort, although I imagine the benefits for that family are also high. We each make our choices and reap the benefits as well as
the sacrifices we make to keep them going.
So yes right now with two teens and a tween my kids are
very happy to be making gingerbread houses and watching the last episode of Survivor
cuddling up to Mom and Dad. Maybe some others their age would not find this so
attractive. We are always together so much more opportunities for fights, to quarrel,
to debate, to love, to laugh and to enjoy. This family is together almost
always. Working, studying, eating, playing in between and trying to extract as many
good moments we can from this great life.
So I shall see. And report out in years if private high
school was worth it? For the moment my answer would be yes. But we are all
exhausted. And spent. And I hope we can all make it through it one piece, Alive
and kicking.
With bright futures in front of us. Resilience, Respect.
And a massive amount of high regard for
the value of education.
I hope. I pray I am right?.
Also a zero tolerance for bullying which is worth
millions and millions of hours in my mind. Nothing
to me is worse than bullying. And there is none at this school. The point
was proven to me when my son who has some special accommodations at school this
week put into place for ADD and I asked him if other kids would bug him about
it…he said:
“Are you kidding me? This is College XYZ we are talking
about. Noone bugs anybody. Everyone accepts everyone as they are….it is
mandatory
