It’s funny in many ways as a parent I am proud of who I
am and who I have grown into.
And in other ways I am not proud at all and am hard on
myself.
The area I have always been hard on myself is in the “ensure
you act as a role model to your kids” I role model many things but there are
areas I model too that I wish my kids did not see. I get angry..I swear…I don’t
volunteer a ton….I lose my temper quite often…the list goes on and on actually.
Also I don’t think I am especially super nice or
especially super kind. I am a good person in many many ways but I know many
people out there who have bigger hearts and more empathy than I do. Of course I
want my kids to be nice so hope that all turns out ok.
However since back from Swiss (yes reality sets in very
quickly as you step off a plane) there have been a few parent-friend-parent
situations around here with kids friend parents that have made me think a lot….quite
a lot actually on what is important to me and the type of role modeling I do
for my kids.
I may not be Mother Theresa or volunteer at the school
all the time-but I do hold accountability high when it comes to my kids and
everything in life actually. And ensuring they face up to the music that others
create or those they create themselves. Saying Sorry is high on our lists..as is
communication….talking it out..accepting responsibility..and not running away
from difficult situations.
Around here if you are in a conflict with another person
you are expected to deal with it with grace. Whether or not you think you caused
or not are not an issue.
Same goes for school. If a teacher complains about
you..perception is reality and we deal with it. Other people’s complaints,
views and perspectives are held with the highest regard. Always. And dealt
with.
And this to me is kind.
And this is life
And what life is about
Dealing with things and feelings and not running away
because it is difficult or time consuming or annoying. Or not intended or not
your fault. Because if a friend out there is hurt because of you..whether or
not you intended it..it is still there and exists and your responsibility.
And if a teacher thinks your kids behavior is less than
exemplary-whether or not they intended it to come across as disrespectful..they
did and it is up to that kid to make things right and adjust. With school
having come to an end I had a few talks with teachers over email about a bunch
of stuff and realized the importance of valuing and respecting the teacher and
authority role. I realized that taking this stance in my kids education has made the teachers really value my kids and our family with all of our blessings and shortcomings.
So in the last 24 hrs (oops no that would be less than 12hrs
since I stepped off the plane) I have realized that I do actually possess some
good traits as a great role model and that maybe I have been too hard on myself
all these years to some degree.
I may not count-“nice and kind and sweet” as top
adjectives to describe me (and don’t get me wrong I have plenty of that in me
especially sweet) but I have a lot of integrity..and honesty and
accountability. And those are big ones. And I intend to make sure that all
three of my kids have them too.
So yesterday although my daughter disappointed me on many
levels by hurting a friend..she also impressed me to a strong degree on how she
handled her wrong doings. And for me…in
life…..we are not only judged by our actions . But also by our intentions. And
our actions during and after conflicts. And our abilities to both accept ,
apologize and forgive and to be forgiven.
And if we can honestly as a human can be good or even somewhat good at all of
these stages-this to me is what makes a
person kind. For me life has always been..is ..and will always be a constant
evolution and development of growth, learning, getting it wrong and getting it
right in the complex journey of feelings, emotions, varying perspectives and
obstacles of life.
Life is rich when you play it on all levels.
I intend to be teaching my kids never to get stuck on
Level One in the Game of Life.
Beginner/Intermediate/Advanced takes a whole lot of falls to get to the top. Leadership is hard work.
