There isn’t much this summer that can make me happier
than watching Downton Abbey on the computer out on the bali night with Hubby
pretty much every night at (yikes!) 12:15-1:15am (yup weekday or weekend OMG!)
I adore this show. And my Hubby does too. Grey’s Anatomy
could never hold the torch to this one.
I replay scenes and things they say over and over and
over in my mind throughout the day. For me it is addictive and like coffee or a
glass of wine. I need it.
But most of all it is Lady Mary that keeps me watching.
She is probably the first character on TV I truly relate too. For years I have gotten
from family and friends “you look like so and so, or you remind me of so and so
on TV” I seem to be the type of person that everyone reminds someone of someone
else.It has been like this my whole life.
But I have never fully agreed. Not of it has truly
resonated. Until Lady Mary that is.
I look nothing like her. She has dark hair and is totally
flat chested. My life is nothing like hers either. She is a rich aristocrat
from the 1900’s.
But so far (after watching only 1 season and a half so don’t
blame me if she totally changes and you think I am crazy!!) I feel like
her..for her..and with her. I feel like
she belongs to me.There are parts of her similar to me, and parts of her I
wish were similar to me. She has many many parts to her Lady Mary it seems
And I actually have no idea why she affects me to this
degree either?
Maybe it is her accent which is nothing like mine of
course but sounds like what I would say if I was a 19th century
English lady? Maybe it is her power….she leads and people follow her often?
Maybe it is her bad temper…but that fact that she seems to only make a fuss
about what is really important? Maybe it is her stubbornness and never being
bossed into doing something she does not want to do? Or always saying what is
on her mind with such articulation and impact? Maybe it is her sweetness…that
is apparent and obvious to the people who know here well? The way she will
never hold anything inside of her and is very direct? The way she holds herself
and the way she moves, speaks, and gestures? Maybe it is the way that you can
tell about Lady Mary that she will be perfectly ok no matter what? The way that
she takes care of the people around her and calls them darling often and
nutures them? And in the next sentence gives them a piece of their mind? The men
in her life who adore her and have watched her grow?
Maybe
it is the profound way that those around her love her. But she never really belongs
to them fully or won’t completely let them, in but you can see her trying so hard to?
Perhaps it is her vulnerability so apparent when she is
ready to show it? The way she melts into the people she loves so deeply? Or the
way that when speaks people listen and expect her to say something important
when she doesn’t always know what she should be saying? The way she accepts her
fate with grace and is gracious and kind, yet firm and direct? Her huge
capacity for love. The way she takes care of her siblings and her parents; they
look to her and depend on her..when really she is just a little thing herself
trying to find her way under all of that perfect demeanour and confidence.
The way she is graceful and knows what to say and how to
say it-yet still remains authentic at the same time?
Perhaps it is the way she addresses her Papa-which is the
way I would have wanted to speak to my Father and the kind of Father I would
have dreamed off. Perhaps it is the clothes she chooses or the ways she does
her hair. Perhaps it is her way she looks a bit wild as she lets her hair down
at night out of the tight bun. The way she is grateful for her maid Anna and
recognizes, confides in her and loves her,
The
way as she approached her groom at the alter she provided a warning “I should
not like ever to be too predictable”.
Ahh..Lady Mary…we would have been good friends.
Mostly the way that there is so much more to Lady Mary than
one would expect. She has layers and layer and layers of love inside of her
waiting to be peeled. She has a massive capacity for love but may never get the
chance to show it even if she is with the love of her life Matthew. Lady Mary
needs to be accessed and uncovered. But no one will likely fully uncover her
will they? After all she seems to have it all figured out already right?
There is something very specific in Lady Mary that I find
in myself. Other parts that I want in myself.. so many parts I have..other
parts I know I don’t have, but wish I
did.
I see myself in Lady Mary as I develop towards being more
“V”. The way she accepts things and goes with the flow. The way she is able to
see outside of herself. The way she can be very very selfish but also
completely unselfish. Just thinking about her brings a smile to my face
All that to say I love Downtown Abbey and we decided
today that it is getting a room at Trent named after it.
Every single room here and spaces have important names at our cottage. Named
after the people who helped us find this place, get this place, buy this place.
Named after our absolute favorite things in life and favorite places. After
almost three years here now there is nothing left to name.
So..the long hill down toward Trent has just gotten a
name. The path that leads to the most relaxing place on earth, with its massive
trees and gravelled roads. With it’s painted signs and carved out address. The place
that allows me to arrive at the place I want to be.
“Dowton Abbey” it is.
And each time now that I arrive I will think of Lady
Mary. And think of me. Of all the ways I
love her, and I see myself in her, and the ways in which I aspire to be like
her. Mostly, the grace she has to face the life that is hers.
In the Lady Mary way of hers that I so adore.
