Last night for our last vacation night at the cottage-we
all five got in the Jacuzzi around 11:30pm. We turned off every outside and
inside light and just stared up at the sky.
Chase was in particular impressed by the starry bright
night (which was impressive in itself as takes a lot to impress him lately!) He
kept saying “It has been so many years that I have not looked up at stars…I
forgot about stars…they are so cool!” He kept repeating this over and over and
it melted my heart to hear this childhood innocence coming out of him. So uncontrolled,
so pure..so true.
Things he says like that touch me a lot. I am very
attuned to when he notices something and verbalizes it. It is usually not his
way.
He lay in the Jacuzzi and stared up at the sky. Then sat
on my lap with his head on my shoulder and let me hold him. He had comments for
every star.
Then he started noticing the shooting stars and made
wishes. He was super impressed by them too and could not stop talking about
them. Asking me if wishes really do come true on them? If they are shooting
they must right? What if they don’t come true? What does that mean?
I explained that for me-just to keep safe I keep my
wishes pretty vague and broad. A bit like many people I know who pray same
thing. Not too specific as then you tend to lose faith. Instead of “I hope this
girl says yes to see me Friday night” wish “I hope a girl I like likes me back”
Keep your wishing and praying bases covered for maximum effect.
Then Chase said something that I will remember forever.
When you have a kid that struggles certain things imprint themselves on you forever.
“Guys…with ADD I get to see all the shooting stars at the
same time. All of them. I see the entire sky at once and I don’t’ miss a single
thing. If any of you want me to wish for you on a shooting stars up there let
me know..as ADD allows me to see them
all where you all can probably only see one at a time”
Trust me Chase..at that moment. I knew you would be
perfectly ok for the rest of your life. Self assured. Confident. Resilient.
In combination with the documentary we watched last night
about homeschooling and kids that shared their parents bed at 8 yrs. old every
night for comfort. Just in case they felt scared in the night or felt it was
too hard at school when other kids were mean so the parents decided to keep
them at home (and in their beds!) Chase turned to me and said “but isn’t part
of growing up learning to be sad or scared sometimes? Learning that you are
strong enough to get through it? Learning that you are capable? Whenever I am sad
or scared ..I learn the most. Right Mom? Why don’t the parents sleep with them
some nights and have them sleep on their own others so they get comfort and
learn to grow at the same time?
These two statements of Chase last night…made me feel
that something along the way of life that I have said or done has made a
difference. Something I knew he felt strongly enough about to pass down to his
own kids one day. Something that I know will help his kids if they struggle themselves in areas of their own lives
And for a parent. This
parent anyways-there is no greater gift than hearing your strongest values
echoed in your child’s voices and views.
Starlight Starbright and shooting stars-thanks for making my deepest wishes come true.
