I love this sign I saw at a spa the other day. Adore it
actually. It reminded me that in life the best thing is to be where you are-whoever
you are.
And accept that place with Grace.
We are at a very important and special place of our lives
right now in our family. And a very different one than most of our friends right
now (actually all of our friends). As of next year we will have three kids in high
school. Three teenagers. I honestly can’t believe we are there already. It is
on our mind a lot now because in Quebec the process starts and end by October of
the year before so high school feels like it is already here
And in the last year our lives have really done a 360.
Completely. Our family life is unrecognizable of what it was one year ago. It
has completely transformed.
When I got a text last night for the first time from my
almost 16 yr old telling me he would
be sleeping at a friend’s vs. asking
I knew we had turned a huge corner….. (I still asked him to ask obviously…but realized
that his paradigm of thinking has changed)
When my daughter spent her professional day in the
village with 5 friends biking, and going for pizza and hanging out all day in the
sun on their bikes with freedom and time in front of them for hours and hours
without us keeping a close watch on them.
When my middle son last night texted and said he was
going to a new friends house in LaSalle and said he called the bus company and figured
out how to get there himself and had arrived and sent us the phone number and address.
Fait accompli. We are clearly in the next stage of our
lives.
It is new, it is exciting, it is lonely, it is beautiful…and
scary . It had arrived.
No more are we planning who has a play date with whom on weekends,
or what family movie to watch all together on a Friday night. No longer am I cutting
up special fudge as a treat and serving it on a Saturday lunch after a good family
meal altogether. These things still happen of course but life has changed.
Sometimes there is one here..sometimes two,..sometimes three..sometimes none. It
is hit and miss. They conrol their lives and schedules and we do not.
(Unless we are at the cottage!! Love the cottage as it
keeps us all together and meals and treats and movies etc. So what if we have a
huge mortgage there? Worth every single penny as far as I am concernedJ)))
And school is owned by them now. We always knew that once
Beauty was accepted to her high schools that we would be at a huge milestone. We
did it!!! We arrived! OMG!!!
No longer are we signing forms to authorize kids to leave
at lunch, or think of where they need to go on a professional day, or pack
their lunches, or deciding which days
they will need afterschool care. Instead we are having massive discussions with
them about exchange programs at the schools where they go and stay at a foreign
school for a week and we host an international student for then week, or
planning the climb of Mount Everest or Kilimanjaro for the sports program, or
discussing the cost of the Alps ski week in Swiss and Italy for Grade 10 and if
that is something the son wants to do and pay for part of. Beauty still one
more year of primary school but since she is the third (and has her acceptances
for next year minus dance which will hopefully be in 2 weeks) …she moves at the
speed of lightning in this family. What my oldest son did in high school she
does in grade 5. In grade 6 now she is way beyond both of her brothers ever
were at her age in terms of independence and autonomy. Also girls mature
faster.
Life is getting richer and more beautiful as it goes
along. I am in awe still of it all and trying to figure out my role in in all
as I shift and transition as the Mom of these beautiful and blooming young
people. There is an element of loneliness and fear in this for me for certain…..but
also a huge element of excitement and of pride.
It feels like we have completed Phase 1 of our parenting
and this is huge for us. Now we move on to Phase 2 which paradoxically both
involves a lot less of us and a lot more of us too. The unselfish parts of us
need to be center and forefront ad we watch them transition to their peers
groups, their lives, their interests…while taking a back seat and also a front
seat.
Getting off the baseball field with them and taking our
places on the sidelines (sometimes). Watching them go out for ice-cream after
the game without us instead of with us and welcoming them home and into our
hearts and arms when they come back to us at the end of their evenings.
Milestones. We have reached a big one Baby. When I think
of this I am so abundantly in love with My Protector…Father of my three
beautiful children. We did this together, every single step of the way and for
this my heart is full. I can so picture the days far far away still (but closer
than they seemed a year ago) where we stand at the graduations, weddings and
big events of our adult children and hold hands in a special way knowing very
well that:
We contributed to this Splendor. These are our babies standing here now. We
survived. We flourished.
We did
good My Darling
