A year ago today is when Hubby and I got the call from Chase. We were on vacation here in Turks like every November:
“We
need to talk when you get home Mom and Dad. I think I need to be accessed for
ADD.”
6 weeks later he was diagnosed. (we paid privately to
speed up the process) On the higher spectrum too which was shocking to us. Fast
forward 4 months later and he was on Concerta. All of it was heart wrenching
and anxiety provoking and difficult. The guilt in not realizing, the worry for
the meds, understanding the impact etc. Figuring it all out. It is never easy
to put a child on a medication; one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to
make.
Fast forward a year tonight and here we are. Chase got
his report art last week and has upped his average by 8 percent this semester!!!
Not a single bad comment from a teacher on behaviour or academics. No parent
teacher meeting requests! He was placed in advance math this year (short of a
miracle for a kid who scraped by for years in math) and he was equal to the
class average. At an elite school like this-being anything close to the class average
is a blessing.
And the focus and confidence academically are night and
day.
Words cannot articulate the pride we feel in him. And not
because the grades have gone up (because this semester they did but other
semesters they may not) the pride comes from:
His pure determination. His willingness to work hard for
stuff that does not come as naturally to him in some areas. His ability to take
control of his learning issues and face them directly. To ask for help and
accept the help he is offered. To feel proud of whom he is exactly the way he
is. To not feel like ADD gets him down at all-but to work with it and battle it
and live with it. His attitude towards all of this is simply amazing. We are
totally impressed.
To understand so young that determination and hard work
when it comes to school are everything. Attitude and perseverance is everything
and can go a long way in life. It is finally all soaking in. Awww…..
People thought we were crazy last year when he got put in
advanced math this year and we accepted the spot (he was close to last on the
list but still made it) but my instincts told me to go for it even though it is
this year that qualifies for CEGEP. My belief in his capability told me he
needed to go for it. And we did. It was probably the best decision we made as a
family in a long time. I have never seen a kid more proud about telling people
that he was put in the advanced math stream. Brag child brag..you so deserve
it. Getting Chases’s report card on our trip was amazing. Seeing his average at
what it is was amazing.
But nothing-nothing at all compares to the feeling of
seeing his pride of himself. His own
pride far surpasses anything we feel and this to me is everything we hoped for.
And the best part is that if his marks has been lower or
higher or the same-for the first year in our lives…whatever the outcome had
been….we knew he could and would handle
it. Chase is well on his way into growing up into an independent and
totally capable young man.
Conerta has brought him into focus. One day I quill write
the book and dedicate it to him:
Love,
Me (and ADHD)
A
Mother’s Journey of bringing her Son’s Sparkle into Focus
There are soo many books to write!!! Maybe I can live on
a beach like this and do this full time one dayJ))
I remember my professional mentor telling me (I rely on
this guy as one of the smartest people I know) He rarely handed out advice and
made me find my own solutions but there was one thing he was very very clear
on:
Your
prime focus in the next years Tarina should be to get all three kids through high
school. The best highschool that you can possibly afford. And to get the
highest grades they can possibly get. And the best and most well-rounded
education they can possibly have. This is your most important role as a parent.
Get them through it the very best you can. Everything else needs to come
secondary until you have done it.
Funny. His advice plays through my mind over and over and
over. It is advice that I will never forget. Was so unusual and strong coming from a guy
who never dishes out any type of advice? It will always stay with me and I will
do everything I can to follow it. Whatever comes up for me in life…this wise
man’s advice comes popping in my head. And CEGEP and University are just as
important to me but by then the three kids will hopefully have the ability to
make it as important to them as it is to me.
