“ In
life it is only fair that for that each time
we are sad or disappointed..we smile for each other thing that is a blessing in
our lives” (or something like that!!! Can’t’ find this
amazing quote now)
All I know is that I have a great life despite everything
else.
I am still lucky.
Last night I cuddled with my husband and kissed him. We
lay together by the fire. I woke up to him. Yesterday evening all 5 of us
cuddled and watched the silliest movie ever with blankets and popcorn. I couldn’t
have asked for a better night.
Despite
it all and because of it all.
These
are my people. These beautiful four people are mine forever.
They are my family. And we will stick together through thick and then..that is
what I know for sure.
And that……is a true blessing.
And we have created what we have with every single fibre
of our being. The deliberateness..the choices…the values teaching…the working
hard…getting it right…getting it wrong. Picking ourselves up off the ground….together.
Always
always TOGETHER.
And watching the kids have each other..not just us..each
other. I think their strongest love and attachement in the world-their strongest bonds are to each
other-their siblings. We never wanted three!!!!! How did this happen???? But so
dperately happy we have three because in especially times like this…they all
need each other …I see it clear as day. I am so happy I will leave them the legacy
of each other..beyond me and their Dad….they will be the three of them. A bond
that can is irreversible-brothers and sisters.
I showed Chase and Bear yesterday the two types of
braces. And it touched them both profoundly….the sadness..the anger..the
protectiveness on their side for their sister..the “Why?” “Why Mommy????
Suddenly for the first time my eldest Chase understood
both the joy and the burden of being a parent. It clicked. For the first time I
think he felt true empathy as he said so seriously “It is just too much right
now Mommy for you guys”
And for the first time I did not try to shield him from what I knew would hurt and worry him. I told the truth to my eldest son.
Yes it is.
But I am counting my blessings because I have love in my
life. Beautiful rich, wonderful love. Right in front of me every single day and
night. Love that we have grown, and
built and fought to have..and fought to keep. Mine. Rightfully Mine.
People in this world who I fight and who fight for me.
And that may be the only thing really that that will ever
matter if I look through that lens. And that is the lens I will need to look
through as I move through a life that is taking me by surprise at every turn
lately. The unexpected grabbing me by the neck and nearly choking me.
Thank goodness we have set ourselves up well and that our
foundation is made of steel. As what I am realizing? That foundation is everything.
And so from that lens? I have everything I need.
