I have always been someone who prefers the day to the
nights. I am a night owl in a lot of ways and stay up late…but my soul feels better
as soon as there is sun.
I am definitely not a vampire.
I have always related to the expression “you will feel
better in the morning”. Because most often... I do.
Friday night my husband came home in shambles about a
work issue he is struggling with. Over the 19 yrs I have known him this is one
of very few. He was really worked up…which usually gets me super worked up. But
instead I decided to take a different approach:
To be super understanding and comforting to him. To listen,
reassure and not jump to any conclusions. To hug him and tell him I am there
for him. And not solve anything. With him or for him.
And to offer him the perspective of daylight. Even at the
time it seemed impossible that the morning sun would figure out his immense problem.
And we went to bed-in silence –on the couch at Trent. I
knew if I spoke my mind would offer up solutions and make lists. We simply
slept. The next morning I woke up with a heavy heart-so did he..but as the day
progressed it just felt better. We went about our normal routine and read and
got outside for a gorgeous walk on the lake. By dinnertime although nothing had
solved itself it all felt pretty normal and ok again.
We
felt solved being unresolved. We were in this together.
I think I have given my husband a gift that Friday night
and one that he will remember for a very long time. Confidence in him and the understanding
that through thick and thin..I am and will always be by his side.
In the dark and in the daylight.
PS-a little note on my leaving my boys to walk home saga
as I was asked what happened at 6pm?? Things were great! After their homework
they both came down and hugged me and asked what was for dinner and we all
piled on the couch and watched Survivor. Just like any weekend. And the rest of
the weekend was even better than most I would say in terms of the climate. The
boys both mentioned the consequence but not with anger but with laughter the next
day. It proved to me, which is proven time and time again in my life…the
cravings kids have innately for consequence. The more natural the consequence the
better in my books.
