Like right here. In my present life.
Everything is out of order and nothing seems the same.
Hey Doc..what happened?
I don’t take showers at 4pm in the afternoon
I don’t take a break from 12-2pm and eat lunch and suntan
in my pool
And I certainly don’t work Friday evenings until 10pm..Because
I just feel like it.
I don’t book appointments on what is supposed to be a
vacation day
I treasure weekends don’t I?
I don’t start work at 7am. I start at 9:30 am
When I wake up of course I know what day it is of the
week don't I? It’s not possible that most days of the weak it’s a blur and I
have no clue?
I don’t ever wish that the day would be shorter than
longer do I?
I would certainly not be living in a perpetual shade of
grey would I with no idea of what is next and hoping for the best?
Could it be possible that I would trust the process and
go with the flow? Well and successfully?
Could it even be possible that I have not had a minute to
design a LinkedIn profile because people have been reaching out to me constantly
professionally?
Did I actually go and eat Thai food by at a lakeside restaurant
with Chase and my Protector in the middle of the day and not look at my watch
or phone once to see what time it is? (Ok I don’t own a watch just thought
sounded goodJ)
Did I just follow my own intuition today and not plan the
day and just go with it? Work, read, blog, work, Thai, eat with kids, work
again.
Did I offer to make dinner for 8 teens????? And enjoy cooking it
Did I look out to my driveway and see no car there and
be ok with sharing my car with Chase? Not stress about the fact that I had to
be somewhere at 6:30pm and had no way to get there except by foot?
Doctor….something is going on.
I can’t say if these are bad symptoms or good systems yet
doc. Time will tell. Let’s see how this disease progresses ok?
Is it possible to be yourself and not recognize yourself
and your life?
Is it possible to inhabit a routine that is so foreign to
your soul?
Is it possible to not know if you love or hate it? Or
maybe a bit of both
I smile when I least expect it
Crying creeps up on me
Doctor Doctor…..I have a bad case...of just too much
change. I think I might be allergic to transition. I have cravings for
stability. Can you prescribe some peace and joy while you are at it? Give my
teens some pills to slow down their aging process? Keep them littler for me?
I think doctor that if you just gave me a chance to take
breaths in between big changes all would be good.
Yes that would be just fine.
Thank you.
And PS-maybe this is my new life? My new normal?
PSS-maybe I even like it ? (a little)
