After the major heat of
our family breakdown session was subsiding our Protector asked the question? A
very logical one:
“What happened to our
family? What has changed?”
Bear, who had literally
slipped through the radar for three hours while his brother and sister got screamed
at, who sat crouched on the kitchen chair in a near fetal position..eyes
diverted trying as hard as he could to disappear from the madness….says his
first sentience all evening:
“Everything changed the day we got the fish.
It’s the fish”
Beauty looks at him and
says “yes I agree-it was Dec 17th..it all changed”
Chase said “no it was
when Mom started reading blogs and tons of parenting books ”
“No it was when Dad
stared screaming at us a few months ago and disciplining us more
My Protector did not
have a reason to attribute to all of this.
For me personally it
was when our housekeeper of many years left last summer that everything started going downhill.
All goes to show- as my
Mom pointed out-the human mind wants a reason for chaos and pain. We seek to
find something logical in our laced mass of suffering. A fish..a book …a dirtier
toilet..Whatever will make sense works for us.
Poor Cotton Eye Joe got
blamed for it this time. The next day we set out to clean out his mucky
aquarium and set him in a new place in the family room. Pain is part of us. So is
Joy. We will keep our fish and love him
Truth from the mouth of
babes. If only it was a simple as blaming the last few months on a fish.
I do agree wholeheartiedly
agree however that Dec 17 2013 is pretty much when it all changed. When we all
changed. And we will never go back.
Nor do I estimate after
all is said and done..will we ever want to.
As I lay in my final relaxation pose in yoga tonight-I realized back is not where I want to go. I will continue moving forward, chaos, madness, joy and pain all lovingly enveloping the lives we were meant to lead.
Namaste.
