Yesterday was mid-way
of vacation for us. We took three weeks at cottage with minimal social plans, minimal
commitments and minimal guests. This year real rest and relaxation in every
shape and form.
And it has been good-and really really different. Very relaxing
and very ordinary. Very normal. Normal in a good way. Very different for us.
Weather has been very on and off-not what you would
expect from July-but not all terrible either. Very unpredictable and hard to
plan if we can be outside as sometimes hot, sometimes freezing, sometimes
windy, sometimes raining. All over the place. Mostly very cold ,not summery and
very windy. Trying to stay positive and live up to the name of my blog!!
Bear and Beauty have been back from camp for 6 days now and
that is also very different for us all-having two out of three. It’s a totally
different dynamic. Totally. They are getting very close and do a lot together
(even decided to share a room to sleep). They also choose days to fight a lot
too and not get along (like yesterday!). They talk a ton more than when Chase
is here, and make us laugh and tell millions of stories about camp, and play
games from camp and are just really different than when the three of them. It’s
really cool to watch.
Last night we started to be more social and spent evening
at my Soulkeeper’s cottage and with her gorgeous
three little kids and Hubby and had a blast. We all adore cottage life and this
is very bonding for us all. Fishing and boating and picnic table meals and
sitting on the dock. It was an amazing night. They will come over here next
week-it is easy with their kids as their kids are independent and fun and
adventurous and our kids just take care of them. It all just works out. And our
Hubbies are really good friends. It’s an amazing relationship that involves both
families all the way. We never met parents who’s parenting style and life resembles
ours more-we share so many values. Every time I see them interact with their
kids or discipline them-it like a déjà vu of our lives. They probably even do
it a shade better than we did. But I love this feeling of sharing the raising
of kids in the same way. It such an awesome feeling to connect on that
fundamental level and know that the advice we both provide and receive
resonates so much.
We have Hubby’s family coming over Friday for the day and
the big Regatta at Holidays on Saturday. We have been eating great meals here, grocery
shopping, kayaking, swimming, hitting golf balls at the range, watching movies,
being silly in the evenings, taking Jacuzzis, tubing, sailing, eating on the
dock in the wind. The next couple of days guys may play golf and fish, girls
may go bowling; we are going to dock boat in village today and go out for lunch
at the diner. Tonight try to catch a fish at dusk. Settle in for an episode of Breaking
Bad.
It’s all normal and ordinary and good yet everything has
changed.
I love Bear’s affection and Beauty’s attention. It’s a honor
to watch these kids grow and sad to see it all happening so fast.
“They
days are long but the years are short”
Trust me the cliché is true.
Got a call from Chase today. Ps the whole him not alling
and texting us this week is really not working out (he has asked us to buy a 3k
bike hahahah!) Then the clincher-he wants to stay 2 more days!!! Give and inch
and take a mile I tell you. This really pissed us off. We felt we were so
generous letting him stay another week of our vacation together and now he
wants more.
So we spend a few hours debating what the right strategy
to deal with this and the right answer was-and in the and we are letting him
decide but being very clear on our point of view and reasons not to stay. He
seems to be very clear on his reasons too. His voice after these three weeks of
growing up is almost unrecognizable and I am not even kidding. So he will let
us know his decision tomorrow and will pay every penny of the extra two days
himself if he decides to stay. It will break the other two kids heartsL But I am know that you can’t
hold a kid back because of other kids. It’ not right. But it is still not fun!
Anyways as I sit here in the clouds and rain this morning
my heart feels a bit heavy. Things feel like they are changing too quickly and
I am not quite ready. What we used to talk about as being in the future is now
in our present. I feel scared. I feel incomplete.
Anyways vacation is wonderful and good for our souls and
our hearts and our bodies.There is no wine on our table-or sunset drinks on the
dock, there are not people coming and going, there is not sun shining down
making way for our watersports, we are not sleeping outside anymore. There is
no real way to describe in words this year, this summer, and this vacation. The
only thing we have right now is the present moment and day-or so it feels.
We are rebuilding, we are discovering. We are in the mist
of change. Awaiting our fates with baited breath. For the year to end, for
X-rays to be had. For life to get back to our old normal but know it will not.
We are becoming to understand ordinary and learning the
ropes of what that feels like exactly and seeing how it sits with us. Me,
willing my heart to catch up with my brain, and understand that ordinary is extraordinary-after many years of conditioning
to think otherwise.
Joy in the midst of.
