Today marks an important day in our lives : July
13 2014.
And what I have personally learnt most in the
last 6 months is that there are many sources of joy in life..many. And many
that we shelter ourselves from because often we get to busy or too lazy to go
looking for them. But sometimes when we are forced to go looking for them…you
realize :Where have these all been all of our lives?
I make it sound simple but really it is not. It
might even sound romantic-but really it is not at all. It a a slow-unsteady-
hard path full of bumps and waves and wind and rain.It is damn hard actually.
But despite all the hard times there are some unpredicted moments too of beauty
and discovery-of uncovering types of joy you did not know existed because you
were not actively looking. They are nooks and crannies of joy that are hard to
find-don’t occur that often…and are few and far between.
But they are there. And if you let them? They
can comfort and envelope you into a warm blanket of life slowly, steadily and
surely.
Today is 6 months. Today is the day that my husband
had to give up alcohol 6 months ago-every single bit of it on top of everything
else crazy happening in our lives since Nov 2013. For health reasons-because of
a medication that he needs to take for his entire life that can tolerate no alcohol.
Ever. And he did it. And it has been damn hard. But he has been amazing –truly truly
amazing. He has said a firm goodbye to a very very close nightly companion he
had-a way of living.
And the day at hand has become everything. One
day all of this will become normal-but for now it is not. We are forced into
the present day. All of us. Together. Day after day.
For now we continue the quest for other sources
of joy that are plentiful around us. With our eyes wide open. Appreciating the gift
of an ordinary day.
Understanding fully that in lives there are parallel
lives to the one we come to expect and plan for . One wrong turn-one different direction-can
take you off the course and onto that parallel existence that is awaiting you
and unplanned. And you set foot on that path-and live in the present……And you
live hand in hand (if you are lucky and very committed and very resilient) the
path that the parallel life has planned for you-instead of the one you planned
for yourself.
And then –and only then when you get to the end
of that path- do you get to choose which one you prefer.
And before you live that unplanned parallel life
you have no way of understanding how it is , how it feels or what it means. You
go about your planned and perfect lives without knowledge of the other side. The
darker side .
And you know what? I don’t get to know or
understand either.
As although I am a partner in pain. A wife in
pain. A mother in pain. A daughter in pain. Watching it maybe can be worse. But
most times? It is easier . And just like those on their planned paths…I really
have no idea. Yet.
For now I support. And I help keep standing. And
I keep standing too.
