We started our three week holidays yesterday and are up
at the cottage for three weeks! And the first 6 days without kids as we always
do for years now as they are at sleep away camp. It’s a great formula and
allows us to have some relaxing adult time and read and fully rest before we
all start our family vacation together. It’s really nice.
It starts actually the week they leave for camp and
although we have to work our asses off during the day and some evenings to prep
to go away for 3 weeks-we have a few evenings that week to just have the house
to ourselves-not pick anyone up at midnight at parties or friends places-not prepare
any food for anyone-keep the house tidy and clean so easily. It’s a really different
kind of week –even if we aren’t on vacation.
We brought our boat back to the yacht club near our house
in the city but we were very unlucky with weather this year-high high high
winds so paid for the week and got to use it once or twice onlyL But we watched movies and
went out to dinner-and had time for each other and some really nice moments despite
the weather.
An then we started holidays Friday night and very spontaneously
took out my Mom out on a boat ride to dinner and had a great dinner with
amazing food on a terrace the three of us together for an early bday celebration
for her (we will do real celebration when kids back). That was a great start to
holiday and nice to be three of us as so rare. Then Saturday morning came up to
Trent and had a gorgeous sailing and boating day. Today….well crap crap crap
weather of course rain and rain and freezing (and not supposed to get much
better this week either), but we are reading and watching movies and all the
things you do on a rainy day. We try not to let it get us down-but the reality
is? Bad and cold and freezing and raining in July is just not acceptable!!!!
Tonight we have a dinner with BFF’s at a fancy resto that
we both love. We are so happy that their cottage is 15 mins away from us so on
vacations we get to spend time. Tonight is just the adults and then in 2 weeks
we will go to their cottage for an evening of fishing and marshmallows with all
the kids and we will bring some pizza. They have three kids below 6 yrs and we
have three above 12 yrs but we are trying to bring them up like cousins. I
babysit for them, as of two years from now I may take their kids yearly for a
week while they go away, they are actively involved in our kids lives too and
intervene as necessary into the teen troubles. I love the fact that our
cottages are so close as we get these special times that we would miss
otherwise as we are always at our cottage on weekends and so miss some of the
fun stuff back in the city because of this. This is for both of our families a
big treat being able to be at our cottages and also socialize. Love it. Guess
it was not coincidence that they convinced us to buy this place (now we just
have to transfer our big mortgage and financial anxiety over to them too!!!) lol.
So we treasure this time alone…like every year . But last
night we also admitted to each other shyly that likely at this stage of your lives
with the kids the age they are-we need it less than we did when they were
younger. We still love it-but we need it a lot less. They are our buddies now…they
are fun (in general)..we know our time with them is limited (girlfriends, jobs,
school) so in a sense being with them is more important than being without them
at this stage in our lives (although trust me this time alone is so precious
too) But it was cool to identify that times are changing and there will be many
years that we will be alone without our kids.
So next year the formula that has been working for some
many years may be changing. Actually it definitely will as Bear will start his
prep for counsellor in training for camp counsellor, Chase will definitely be
working etc…..
But I am so happy that we were smart enough all these
years to take this time alone. It got is to where we are now I believe…tomorrow
celebrating 18 yrs of marriage!!!
Kids we love your and miss you-but having a great time
without you too in rain, in sun, in clouds and in rainbows. Like real life we
have made the commitment to run the course and stick together through it
all-the journey of life. And one day I hope you too as parents take that time
for you as a couple-and not only plan for it but fight for it and make sure it
happens. Push away your anxiety and fear of leaving your own kids-and go with
what is needed in a couple. As my biggest piece of advice to your future
selves? Understand that your couplehood is the foundation of your
parenthood (and not the reverse) Never forget yourselves and your marriage
because you become parents. Never. Staying together is important as a family
united-and to do that……you need to nurture yourselves as individuals outside of
being parents. And that??? That is an
order.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
