I
This is going to be an over the top post full of lots of
words that may sound exaggerated- but are not.
Tonight I spent a great couple of hours with my son Chase….and
I love him so so so so much. Honestly is it possible to feel like this about
someone?
I mean let’s get honest here there are many times in life
and weeks and days and even hours that he drives me bananas. He is 16.5 yrs afteralll..he is a teenager with an attitude.
But there is something so lovable and precious about him it makes my heart melt.
It has always been like this..Since the moment he was born…I felt like the
luckiest person on earth.
Tonight was our second visit to the chiroprater which is 30
mins drive away. He has back issues and getting a few treatments. Also a bit of
an experiment since he thinks he may want to be a chiro one day.
He doesn’t want to play music in car because he wants to
talk and starts out with “how are things lately for you Mom?
Then he gives me advice about my driving
Then he opens the door for me
Then he has GREAT conversations with me
We talk about the other two :kids” and what they are
doing wrong and right lately in their lives. We talk about how proud we are of
his Dad for some of the obstacles he faced this year
He agrees with me on most things!!!
We talk about his girlfriend and he listens to my advice!
We talk about school, the future, girls, his friends, the
chiro everything and it is so damn pleasant.
(I swear a few times so he can relate to me and he laughs)
We talk about our upcoming vacation and get all excited
We laugh in the chiro office when I have to close my eyes
when his back gets cracked
We both agree the chiro is one of the sweetes t kindest
men we have ever seen
We have real amazing conversations and laugh together and
respect each other. And then both last night and tonight he comes up and hugs
me from my back and kisses my cheek and says “do you know how much I appreciate
you??”
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then he tells me how now in class people ask HIM
questions about the notes and subjects and homework assignments because he is
getting really good in school.
Often times I am with him it is not like this at all-he
is in a foul mood or quiet or to himself or everything I do seems to annoy him.
But tonight was our night and we clicked. There was nowhere in the world I
would have rather been than there with him. Not Italy, not the beach, anywhere.Just
at that Chiro with my son.
I have spent so much of my life worrying about this boy, loving
him, fretting over him, obsessing over him. Letting him go. He has occupied
more of my thoughts than the whole family put together (until I stopped that unproductive behavior
two years ago and now barely think or worry about him at all!.
He can honestly be the biggest pain in the neck on earth
and lazy and disrespectful and preoccupied.He can be mean and impolite
But mostly? He is amazing human being. I respect who he
is so much and the decisions he makes. I love watching him grow up before us.
And tonight he gave me more than a glimpse of who he really
is and who he has become and who he will become. And I am so so excited to have
him as an older teen and eventually as an adult in our livess. He will always
bring us so much joy and happiness-of that I am sure. He always has……
In his subtle, lovable and charming way.
I will never forget tonight as it was the night I
realized exactly who he is under the teenage façade much of the time-under the
unruly long hair in the now half ponytail, under the stress of the exams……
I saw his heart tonight and will never ever forget it.
And I saw our relationship for everything it is.
