Honestly if
Facebook and Instagram and texting and Tweeting did not exist..It is very
likely that our family life would be very peaceful and harmonious. Technology
is 90 percent of our conflict.
Aka: They
want it much more often than we want them to have it.
At home it
has become not an issue as the advantage of private school is that the kids are
kept so busy all the time there is no time for it. They use it as a break which
is fine for us and makes sense. At the cottage we have rules that have been
engrained in them since they were toddlers so that becomes easier too for most weekends.
When it
really becomes and issue is vacation.
We spend
thousands of dollars to be away from reality and they are immersed right back
in it many times a day because of their phones and IPads. Hubby and I have
strict rules and laws have for ourselves about work email and even personal
emails while away to give ourselves a reality break from our stressed out usual
lives back home. We disconnect for a good part of the vacation and usually all
of it dependant on the circumstances. From work, from problems at home, from
others people issues, from home repairs, and bills and taxes. This decision
allows us to enjoy each other and our children much more easily. If we do cheat
a bit and sneak peeks we don’t stress each other out about ANYTHING. We keep it
to ourselves as a punishment for checking in the first place. We have had these
vacation rules forever and this time truly feels like the only time in life we
are sheltered from stress.
And we want
this for our children too.
But they
don’t
To them a
vacation is writing their girlfriends back home and connecting with friends.
Sending pictures of the surfs and iguanas to their gang. And I really really
don’t believe this is healthy to never be able to disconnect. I think it is the
new world we live in. And the new world sucks (in my opinion)
What happened
to just enjoying a moment instead of photographing it, videotaping and then
posting it for everyone to see continuously? In a sense this is hypocritical as
this is what my blog does too. But in my case I do this for an hour at night
and don’t crave to do it all day long. And this is what we are trying to
establish in our kids. Do what you want with technology 2 hrs a day in the
evening but the rest of their time...Be present.
And before
this vacation it has never been an issue. We did not have a 17.5 yr. old who is
almost and adult and paid his own phone and has a steady girlfriend. It’s a whole
new set of rules now to be re-established. We struggled the first 24 hrs and
now we have a routine.
And it is
called:HERE ARE THE RULES AND FOLLOW THEM OR TAKE THE CONSEQUENCES AT HOME OF
NO TECHNOLOGY FOR A WEEK.
We won’t be
policing or nagging or getting angry. We will sweetly smile and pretend you are
listening to the rules and then at home we will make you pay.
So far it is
working beautifully. Since we made the no policing rule everyone is happier.
I might just
need to apply this to many many areas of life. Somehow I think in the older days
parents were less stressed as they turned a “blind” eye much more often. I am
not even sure my parents were aware if I had homework never mind give a care in
the world as to when it was due!
And they certainly
did not know when after they would go to bed my BFF and I would on weekends
climb out my bedroom window and onto the roof where my BFF would smoke.
Sometimes my boyfriend would come and climb up the house and sit there with us
too . These were some of the best memories of my teen years. I am happy that my
parents either turned a blind eye or more than likely they just slept through
it all weekend after weekend!
