Today was the last of our adventure excursions (5 in
total) and it did not disappoint. It scored as favorite for the three kids and
came in as second for Hubby and I right behind the Canyoning down the
waterfall.
Another huge trek on a massive truck on a bumpy road through
the jungle. I felt exhausted before I even began..All the early mornings and
schedules and excursions are very demanding physically and I felt kind of out
of energy by this point. After the truck ride there was a HUGE trek uphill on
foot for about 25 mins to the zip lines. This also exhausted me..I think I really
need to get better at cardio!
But then we arrived at the zip lines and I was so grateful
I made it. 12 lines many very very long of approx. 1 km thought the beautiful jungle.
I have never seen anything like it. Through valleys and waterfalls, so far far
far up in the air-it was truly breathtaking. We had zip lined once but this was
nothing even remotely comparable-this was true zip lining.
I found it hard to enjoy the lines and the beauty is I
was so focused on having to brake at the end. It really stressed me. By the 5th
line I saw some people asking to have a guide go down the line with them. So I
asked for this the last 5 lines and was able to just enjoy the ride and not
think and let the guide make all the decisions. It was a wonderful gift to myself
to give my mind this mental break.
At the end we went to an Indian speech with a native Indian
in a grass skirt giving a talk about his culture. He was selling many beautiful
handmade items. I went up to this man in a grass skirt with a translator and
said “I need you to find me an item that will bring me and my family luck and
watch over us” And he said “the blue mask…Joy. Peace and good luck always”
I
will take it. Put it next to the Buddha and my Dad’s ern
on the fireplace and my 5 lucky coins
We stopped in La Fortuna at our fave cheap soda and
ordered steaks, and fajitas and mushroom chicken and large chocolate milkshakes.
So so yummy and so cheap for this amount of food which is a rare find here. In
the middle of the beautiful meal I broke downL Not angrily broke down but more sadly broke down.
The kids all day were making fun of me for various reasons (walked too slowly
up the stairs, asked to go with guide on zip line, don’t like to talk about
dead chickens while I am eating) and I just suddenly started to cry and could
not stop.
It
had to come out.
Everyone is going back to their normal lives on Tuesday…but
I am not. I am truly broken hearted and the end of this vacation is very hard
for me. I have tried and tried my best to be normal and enjoy every moment, and
I have but ultimately I am grieving a career and a life I loved for more than
11 yrs. There is a big hole in my heart. And even if the day after we get back
I am going back to that pharma company for a month as a consultant (a whole
other story)…it is not the same. I am no longer part of the team. I no longer
have my office…I no longer go to staff meetings, or have my team reporting to
me. Things are entirely different-and like anyone who is taken by surprised by
a big corporate layoff in a company-it is very traumatic on many levels. It is
the first time I have been through this and has given me great empathy for
others I know who have been through this. It’s a big loss of identity. A strong
sense of alienation is with me all the time it feels like and every night in my dreams.
And even zipping through the trees could not take that
feeling away.
But let me tell you…it certainly helped. The beauty of
this universe is so very bewildering and beautiful. We are so small compared to
nature.
Nature has so much to offer us and so many lessons for us
as mere mortals.
This trip has been an incredible journey physically and emotionally
and I will never ever forget it. I will always hold in my heart that I planned
this trip for my family with careful consideration and precision-and even if my
teens make fun of me I am so proud of myself that physically I was able to trek
down waterfalls, canyon through rocks and fields, zip line through jungles,
kayak with crocodiles and white water raft (without falling out of the boat!) through
level 3 rapids.
And all of this where most of me wanted to curl up in a
little ball in bed and cry. But I did not. I made more than most of this
incredible vacation.
And I am going home as a published author
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (more next week)
More Life, Please!!!!
