Thin Places

Those places of peace. Where it feels like heaven meets earth. Where all is calm and peaceful

On the bayou today with the guide. In the raft floating

The monkeys and birds and crocodiles and iguanas and turtles. The baby monkey on it’s mother’s back

The way she was calm and loving

The way he paddles

The way he compared the teenager monkey to himself as a teen “like me”

The way he relaxed in a way I had not seen in a while-slouched in the raft. No need for anything in his hand.

My mind peaceful and shut off. Forgetting. Able to forget

The swim in the river. The sweet pineapple to my lips. The water in my throat

The sweet guide Stefan. A dad so young

The air, the sounds, the chirping. Nature at it’s best

The way they look at monkeys and the looks on their faces as they look

The way she leaned into me as she talked about her future wedding

Then the “soda” Most heavenly meal served with love

Our thin places

The way he asked me what I did for work-and the way I answered him-the way it felt ok in my heart

The way I watched them

The way I accepted who I am and where I am at

Thin places

Belonging to us in our hearts

Sister Savvy uses this expression-“thin places” and I love it. She and I both read it on a blog that we both love and ever since has resonated. I love when Savvy uses it when she travels..we found our own thin place today.

On a safari float. A private one with an excellent guide. We learnt so much and experienced so much in those few hours. It felt so simple and so beautiful, the nature, the sounds, the simplicity of the cut up fruit. Watching my children is simple in life-knowing this was the right thing to do to bring them here. Making it all matter.

And the the soda (a soda is a family run local restaurant with no taxes, and very local authentic food) OMG-another incredible meal. Three of us had spaghetti Bolognese and it was the best ever. Hubby a sirloin steak and Bear taquitos with cabbage-their version of a taco. Three chocolate milkshakes , a heaping strawberry daiquiri and a Kaisen malt like beer. Perfecto. Loved the bench- like picnic tables too. Then to the grocery store for food.

Back to the hotel and we did the circuit of the thermal springs as a family. Volcanic hot springs…started with warm, went to fresh cold and then the hot hot ones. All with tumbling waterfalls on our heads. I can’t wait to post some pics when we are back….so much beautiful nature here.

My Protector and I treated ourselves to couples massages tonight at the outdoor spa. We got back rubs, foot rubs and facials. I would have wanted it to last forever was sooooo good.

Tonight we didn’t plan our time or our bellies right and we stayed in the little hut (our room which is a stand-alone home) and we thought since a late lunch no need for dinner. So not trueL somehow M&M, chips, crackers and cheese and cheap cookies are not doing it for us or our hungry kids. We miss timed tonight and our later excursion tomorrow-but I can’t get it all right can I?

All being in our little hut side by side is kind of cozy. It’s kind of odd too-but it’s kind of a thin place. I realize more and more than I am a very solitary person much of the time. I am in my head a lot. I dream a lot. I think a lot. I read a lot. I plan a lot. Being in a noisy room with the four people I love is a whole new experience for me. It’s different. It’s a thin place for me in some peculiar and odd ways. It forces me into areas of myself that are harder for me.

Costa Rica is really what I wanted it to be.

I am flooding with the experience of losing my role, my career, and my life-juts like the water flowing from the volcanic rock. I can’t stop it..and I don’t want to. I am in a different place in my mind, my heart, my being. I am here, and now. I am feeling and not feeling at the same time. I am comfortably numb and also so very much alive. I feel such a loss and an utter sadness in my heart-yet I feel pride in the way I am coping. I am not in denial. I am letting it all flood into me with the crickets and the frogs sounding their sounds outside my windows.

Costa Rica is good for me. It makes me feel new at a time in my life where forward is the only place I have to return to. I have not been given a choice. This is one of the first times in my life where I feel I have had no say.

Tomorrow is canyoning and rappelling down a large waterfall tied on our waists by ropes.I can’t wait for this adventure. I finish this blog outside on our hut's balcony with a tropical rainfall pouring down. The rain beats down on the tin roof and my son stands in the half outdoor shower washing off the day before sleep becomes us.

The rain comes out of nowhere. Relentlessly.
and pours upon my head