I read a book this week-a fiction one that really got to
me. Tears in my mind and everything. And it is written by a pretty cheesy beach
writing type too-so strange reaction.
Was about a Mother who gave up her baby for adoption and
then the daughter goes to find her at 18 yrs of age. They end up in this weird happy go lucky
situation of the birth Mother and Father with the adoptive Mother and Father at
the graduation of the daughter from high school.
At first she is totally fascinated by the ways and riches
and coolness of her “new” birth parents and the adoptive parents are scared
they will lose their daughter to this coolness. After the girl realizes that it
is her adoptive parents who raised her, and saw her first steps, and were there
to record her first word, and sat with her as she had her first heartache. They
were her real parents even if they were not really.
Anyways made me really ponder the point of how important
belonging is. And how we, I, my family, my friends, my colleagues are so much
better off when we feel we do. To feel included vs. excluded. How belonging brings out the best
in us.
And how we can never give this to our kids , beyond our
own family. They have to find this belonging for themselves. They have to find
their own paths. We can’t make them be popular, or religious, or be good in
school, or sporty. We can’t make them musical, sociable or respectful. But we
can introduce them to these behaviors and guide them with these tools….and
somewhere along the way they will belong…somewhere.
I have seen a few examples lately of parents squashing
passion out of kids and it has bothered me. Forcing them into a mold that is
not right for them (but may be right for the parent). It hurts to watch because
the kids could have been so much more if they were left to become who they are…without
being told they are someone else.
So this book brought sentiment out of me for whatever
reason. About belonging and the hard path it is to get there..for all of us.
