Tomorrow is our last day. Two weeks here…wow have we been
spoiled. For some reason this year it feels even more indulgent…I feel almost
sinfully guilty this year.
It has been 7 yrs
we have been coming here. Five trips alone and three with the kids to one
resort and one condominium that belongs to a great client of my Hubby. It has
been amazing….but it will be our last year. All great things come to an end and
we have decided to move onto other places in the world. We have been to many besides
here during those years too…..but clearly Turks has taken up most and many of
our vacations. It’s time to say goodbye. For now.
I made a video today of the ocean and in it I say that
the next time I will be back is when I am rich enough to afford more than one
of two vacations an year and when I am rich enough to own my own condo here.
This will be a serious goal of mine.I better start crafting what I will do exactly
to have an extra 2 million dollars hanging around!!!
It has been a wonderful vacation overall-and different
too. Each one has it’s flavor doesn’t it? This stay was really like a gorgeous
cottage on the ocean. We went out to dinner only twice so far and lunch
twice-that equals a whole lot of cooking and cleaning! I clean and Hubby cooks.
We both plan menus and shop. The weather has been very so so so not much
sailing and not as much swimming as usual.
A whole lot of walking though! I think I lost weight seriously despite
eating two homemade desserts a day!
Today we took a 16 dollar taxi far, far, far and walked
all the way back on the beach-it was awesome.
Highlights this trip? The excursions we did looking for
conks which the guy offered to allow us free again tomorrow since he loved that
my husband expressed so much gratitudeJ
Blogging on the balcony overlooking the ocean at 7pm, watching horror movies on
our new IPAD, seeking the perfect shells, Caesar wraps, homemade fries, my two
new spa t-shirts, paying it forward and doing lovely things and acts of
kindness all over the place, face timing my sweet kids, cuddling on the bed
outside on the balcony, wearing lingerie and lounge wear instead of pyjamas
every evening, feeling prettier than I ever have in my life, having deep dark
tans despite lots of sunscreen and lots of clouds, the smell of the shower gel
here on my husband. The pelicans and their messages, my 2012 Happiness Project
which is complete, the 8 books I read so far, my salty caramel chocolate bar,
reading my friends blogs, the sunsets, the sounds of the ocean, the look of the
sky, the fluffy clouds, Jacuzzis before bed. Having time….to just be…..alone..together..with
my thoughts…..with my dreams. Planning for the future and the clarity I have
gained here.
Tougher has been: being very disconnected from work. My
email is down and although this is a blessing and prevents me from checking in
also stressful to be totally so far away and have NO IDEA what is going on back
home. I realize that I solve a lot of problems and issues on my own at work, I
have really managed my own shop over the years in so many ways. Conducted what
feels like a big orchestra with so many parts that are up to me and me only….and
I am very scared what my day Thursday will look like and the month after that
Yikes!!!!!! No emails for the airport even,,, scary stuff!!!!
Hubby and I had two major fights..one about trust and the
other about hurt feelings on this trip. Both hurt. A lot. But we got through
and our communication when we fight is getting better. We are strong as a couple and being married 16
yrs is a long time. We are entering a new phase with eachother.
This trip I felt a mixture of missing home and guilt a
bit too-as kids getting older I find harder to leave ironically in some ways-I
feel like we will only have the kids with us
for a limited amount of time and is it ok to leave?Most of me screams
yes but part of me feels bad about it. I have done a ton of thinking while
here..a ton. In a good way too. I have said goodbye to a lot of habits that I
have been working on for a while. Officially. I have changed.
My son failed a course (almost more than one). I seem ok
with that. I fully believe in him and what he needs and what he is capable of.
I believe in Heaven. I forgave something pretty bad this week. I have decided
that the future will be different than the past.
It scares me to bits since as I change I feel more
vulnerable…more insecure….more out there. More easily hurt, rejected and alone.
Will my old people like this new part of me? Will I? Will I still be able to be
as successful believing in a Heaven and walking around all day doing good deeds
for little strange kids? I hope I will.
And if I don’t I have to remember that one must fail
before they truly succeed and I need to believe in that.
Turks has been a big part of me and it is time to say
goodbye to this magnificent part of our lives, our couple and our existence. It
feels like saying goodbye to home really that’s how connected we feel to this
place.
Our next place we will go as a couple will be very
different. I am going to ask sister Savvy to help us choose it. It will be far
and exotic and wonderful. I am ready to explore. And the next three years of kids
trips are already planned and chosen and all wonderful and exciting and
different.
Goodbye Turks! Goodbye wonderful safe, predictable
beautiful piece of us. We will miss you but will take you with us on our future
journeys. And will be sure to come back when we have lots of funds extra
whenever that time will come. You will be an addition but not a destination any
longer.
