It’s been a few years that a Family Mission statement has
been on my mind. I love the idea and know so many people from all walks of life
that have them. Some friends, some colleagues, well known authors,…everyone
seems to tap into this and I love that.
Some of these mission statements when I hear them resonate
and others I question “oh really?” and does not seem to suit that family at all
from my perspective. Nevertheless they have a mission statement and I do not.
Kudos to them.
So my way of this mission statement, has to been to allow
it to develop on it’s own over the years..and it seems to have finally emerged
in my head anyways. Next phase will be to present it at Family Night and see
what the family thinks about it and if it is meaningful to them. If not we will
use that meeting to work on one together.
My idea for it anyways is:
Beautiful in-Between
I
love it.
What it means to me is that our home will always be a
place where we strive for beauty outside of anything else and all other circumstances.
It will be a place where we strive to be a haven from an often heartless world.
It will be a place that despite the many many elements we cannot control in
this world, people and situations, that we
can control what we are to each other in our home, what we offer one
another and what we provide each other. And that offering has, will and always
will be unconditional love and acceptance. In our family-you will be loved no matter what. To me that is what family is.
It means that there is a lot of shit happening around us,
to us and involving us (failing school sometimes, friends dumping us sometimes,
illness, loss of jobs, not getting what we want, being stressed, and
relationships on the brink, bad haircuts, broken computers, eaten homework,
bigger butts, puberty hormones) but home will be where we put it all back again
and figure it all out together as a team. Home will be the place where no
matter what, you can depend on love and gratitude and affection and love no
matter what else is going on for your life.
And yes we will have big expectations and would be nice
if we all lived into them (university, success, determination, hard works, respect..)
but our big expectations will never define our love for you or replace it.
Beautiful is what I feel I have always wanted to offer my
kids in between life itself. A good family meal, a great skiing weekend at the
cottage, a hug and kiss and a nice tuck in, traditions, great talks, lots of recognition
and praise, lots of trust, openness and communications, lots of warmth and
loving texts afterschool. Lots of friends and family, lots of cuddling on the
couch, lots of trips and travel and discussions and love. Coming home should always be something a family member can look forward too amonght the chaos of life.
And in-between all that there will be an understanding
that there will be a whole lot of screaming and stressing, and disrespect and
rudeness, and failing , and mistakes and getting it wrong. In our own home and outside of it. But in the end we come together and we are together and we will figure it out together. Here..you are perfectly ok..so show up as you are please.
There were so many other mission statements I came up
with over the years but none of them resonated 100% and most were too achievement
focused than we are in reality when it comes down to our core values. Work hard
play hard were there, determination, education, happiness and love, .etc. .All
important, but not important enough to define us. Nothing for us compares to
happiness.
Our only goal for our kids in the end is ultimately for them to feel
self-assured and happy in whatever form that brings them (whatever profession,
gay, not gay, alone, married, bald, tall, short, stuttering, hyper, wall
street etc…) Ok ok I sort of really want
my kids to have awesome careers. And be married and have lots of kids…..like as
in really a lot…but happiness still is most important! Real happiness.
People have always wondered how we are so close as a
couple and a family? How are our so
close.? Closeness has been a cornerstone of all of it through the years..We are
not good at a million other things but closeness and bonding of our family of
five have always taken full precedence over hockey, soccer, being at different
places at different times in the evenings and having activities that separate
us for too long on the weekend, in the evenings and especially in the summer and winter. Mission accomplished for that. We never lost sight of these priorities-not ever. We may bitch and
scream at eachother a lot…if you watch our family dinner dynamics you can
question our closeness…but we love eachother a ton. All of us. Trust me.
So that is what I will propose for our mission statement along
with 5 words or statements one coming from each of us that represents what we
each feel we contribute to the family in particular. What do we especially
bring to the table that the family would not be the same if it was not for this
characteristic and this person?
Mine for me will be: making
the impossible possible in a sweet way
There we have it! Three years in the making. I will keep
you posted on family night in a few weeks and if the family found it meaningful
or what else we come up with.
(Right now I am taking half a day off to pack for my 13
day trip with Hubby to Turks and Caicos! Then this afternoon and evening a whole bunch of work
for the company I work for since now I have pretty much gotten over the loss of
my blackberry and am in function mode again and major catch up time from losing
a full day on Friday!!!!)
