I have a vision and it is strong.
In it he has a jar of candies at the reception desk in a
big glass container and she stops there with a friend afterschool on her way
home to take one or two and to give him a kiss.
I picture him going to the depanneur and ordering a
sandwich and taking it down to the lake to eat on a breezy but warm day and watching
the sailboats go by.
I picture him shopping with his secretary at lunch for
her daughter’s birthday gift.
I picture a cozy patio table on a deck outside that he
eats at for three seasons with his staff or one of our friends who stops in at
lunch.
I picture him going to work there for a couple of
hours a day in summer learning the ropes and responsibility of a job.
I picture him getting off the bus afterschool and going
to tell him about his day and the great mark he got on an exam and asking for a
quick lift home.I picture us having important conversations there in his office and making important decisions. Sharing a shish taouk by the lake on a Monday.
I picture her stopping in and saying hi and brightening
his day the way she does mine. Maybe bringing him a yummy treat from the
village . I picture him going for a walk with him and
chatting and being a listening ear for a man that does not often share, but will because he trusts and loves her.
I picture them helping him and choosing the deco, and the
furniture and the layout because they are so good at it. I picture him helping
him out most, bonding over the modern purchases. The oldest two guys of the family building the family business. Together.
I picture me planning the opening and inviting all of our
friends and colleagues and family. I picture ordering sushi and cupcakes and
hiring a waiter to serve. I picture creating a big creative marketing spalsh and asking some of my contacts to help me out.
I picture her going on her bike-before it is time to leave for good
and stopping by to see him for a chat. Just because she fancies the location and wants to
take a peek.
I picture my heart opening like a flower and sharing the happiness
I have always had with him. I may picture it..and help make it happen.... but this vison belongs to him. It is his
I picture HIM mostly when I think of all of this with a
cloud that will be replaced with sun. A smile on his face, with the pride of
ownership, and investment and in building and in the knowledge of a legacy to
be left. I picture him feeling good and happy and proud. I picture him loving me
for my efforts. Being proud that I can add to making the impossible possible.
I picture him sending me this sign from somewhere. I
picture the money he left me contributing to my husband and my family for a place
my Dad loved and cherished and where my own roots are.
I like picturing him trying his
hardest up there, in a way he was not capable of in real life, fighting to give
me and my kids what he could not give me.
And I picture me receiving these messages and these signs
and these experiences with a full and open heart
Moving into the next face of my life with forgiveness,
charity, unselfishness and continued determination.
Knowing that resilience is a gift if you let it be. Letting it's power seep into my soul for the better.
Feeling like it might be time to finally come back home.
Being old enough to create this life for our family and for myself.
And most importantly understanding that home is just where I had left it
waiting again to be lived in again
Along with words and the music.
