I was never much of a hugger as a kid.
My Mom was until I turned about 13 and started rejecting
her affection outwardly. So she stopped hugging me for a number of years and I
noticed it a lot as a teen. It was something I did not want, but also wanted
very much on many levels.
As adult both of us are somewhat huggers yet again and
have found the perfect balance. I am so happy about this.
In general I would not consider myself a physically affectionate
person necessarily but certainly affectionate in an emotional and verbal way. What I have noticed lately though is that my body needs
hugging and so does my mind. I need to give it and to receive it. Whether it is
a real hug or a warm word, or a tender caring thought. It makes me feel good to
give and to get from the ones around me I love.
These last two weeks when I can honestly say I have been
the world biggest bitch to my family just because I have so much on my plate
right now. Each time I stop and take a moment and cuddle, or tuck them in, or
kiss my husband goodbye or anything else; I feel like oxygen has made its way
back to my lungs.
I wish that these things were more habitual for me, more
natural and that I did not have to remind myself to give or receive affection.
But in the end I think the most successful people are those who not only play
on their strengths but on their weaknesses too. Those who freely put themselves
out of their comfort zones for their long term comfort.
So as you go through this busy holiday season reflect for
a moment on what brings you joy and act on that. Even if you really have no
time to do so. And sit back and enjoy the happiness it is sure to bring you. And to be aware not only of what we ourselves need, but
what the others around us may need from us. And to start looking at speaking a
love language that is different than our own and maybe not perfecting it but at
least becoming fluent in it.
