Took a look at my Happiness Project from a year ago and
it’s amazing what a year can do. Am I happier? I would say yes! In all the
little ways (which is quite shocking taking into consideration this has been
one of the most challenging years of my life)
I have just gotten better at day to day life. Ritualized and simplified even though life has
gotten more and more complex. Way better at living in ambiguity (clarity is a
thing of the past) and better at rolling with the punches. I still expect hell
of a lot from myself but my expectations of others are lower which makes life easier for me.
And I haven’t worn spanx in 3 months. Ever. It’s amazing
what 8 lbs and some toning does to a body. Mine in particular. I am no skinny
bathingsuit calendar model by any
stretch-but I look good in clothes( I think) and I am satisfied. I feel back to
good. Goodbye spanx unless a special occasion or a hot date (both very rareJ)
Moving on to chocolate bars. I have worked at this
company for 9.5 yrs and do you know how many times I have gone down to vending machine?
Three! That is IT. Well yesterday I was in a piggy mood-very rare for me..so I
went and ate a mars bar. Then came back to desk and had three 100 calories snacks
(which equaled more than a second mars bar which would have been much more satisfying).
Then I had 12 almonds and a full dinner an hour later. Totally totally unheard for
me on a weekday at work.
And I just knew..I knew..That for some reason I would
lose a pound overnight. Always happens when I pig out for some strange reason.
Not if I do that like on vacation for a week but for a day it’s always a win. I
was right! Lost a pound! Love it
And exercise- well I am so far ahead of where I was five,
three and a year ago. I had trouble fitting in one Pilate’s class a week back
then. Now with 5 times a busier schedule I do 1-2 yoga classes a week, 2 times
at gym for weights and 1-3 times walking depending on season. Plus at least a half day of skating, snow showing or skiing on
weekends. It is not the amount nor quality of exercise that for me astonishes
me (I am still very slow and don’t push myself much)…it is that I actually sort
of kind of somewhat look forward to it all!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never ever want to go but when I get there
I like it. So I have re- programmed my thoughts to just surpass the cognitive
confusion of getting ready and leaving the house and just forget that part. In
general I just do it and it feels damn good.
So instead of the BIG picture lately my life has been
about the daily small pictures. The little chocolate bars, or walks, the
chapter in a book, the childs play position in yoga which I could stay in
forever, pretty lip-gloss, the non restraint of spanx, catching a peek at my
slimmer butt in the elevator and driving my kids all over the place in the evenings to sports
stuff and medical stuff. Doing lots of dishes and laundry and trying to enjoy
it….being thrilled with the flexibility I have at work..Connecting with friends
as often as possible and coming up with sweet nickmanes for all my loved ones. Eating the delicious shake and bake chicken and parsley potatoes my husabdn made for us so lovingly last night and enjoying the laughter at the table.
I am realizing that life can be happy from such small things
like a text in the middle of the day from a BFF or a good soak in a big bathtub
at night. It’s truly as simple as that
sometimes. Sometimes that is the only way to make sense of this crazy life isnt it?
Happy Me is backJ
Regardless of the way the world turns.I realize I missed me. Alot.
