Yesterday was a strange day. It started off as one of their
better of my life and turned out bizarre.
Quite simply I forgot the roast beef. And my husband
hasn’t stop screaming at the kids and telling them to basically shut the fuck
up.
It’s an interesting process to observe you see as a) I never ever ever forget anything when we
pack for the cottage (especially for the main meal) and b) my husband never
ever ever screams at the kids and surely does not swear at them while doing so.
Normally –in the normal not bizarro world I am living in
currently; He forgets the meat and I swear and scream at the kids while he
sleeps.
So part of it delights me in a wired screwed up sort of way..and
part of it scares me to death. It is much easier for me to rage myself than to watch
the rage of others. It’s is going to be a learned skill I am guessing.
And my theory on forgetting the meat? I think it has to
do with me joining the human race. You see on most levels when it comes to
organization and planning and contributing to the pleasure of what is going on
around me..in most cases I am impeccable.
I am not bragging as in many many many other ways I am a
disaster. As in total. But when it comes to pacing right..not forgetting things,
remembering important events, being in tune with important things around me,….
I am very good. As in very.
Well not anymore it seems as I got lazy..just for a
second I seemed to relax and now…we have
no roast beef for make fricassee. This is what happens when you let your
guard down just a bit.
Oh ya and I forgot the gorundbeef for the chili too and threw
out the rest of the yummy leftover sandwiches in the garbage. No wonder so many
normal people who make it a habit to take life a bit more relaxed than I do get
fired from jobs all over the place?! This
state of mind is totally ineffective.
So I am know waiting for the man who screamed at the kids
and basically called them little idiots (which is fine because they were acting
that way) to figure out what he is going to do with this new feeling and
reaction and how he is going to deal with.
All I tell you is that today…scared me to bits. And it paradoxically also made me feel…that
everything would be perfectly ok.
We could have had full weekend without proper dinners because
I forgot the meat. We could have had a bunch of sulking , angry children and
mad parents because they were called little idiots. Yes we could have.
But we
didn’t. We went to the grocery store and re- brought what we
needed (and now have doubles at home) and my husband sorted it out with the
kids involved.
This morning at brunch my husband when around the table
and did a “feeling inventory”. We all
had our feelings and our lack of them. And we all chose to express them or not
express them. Mine was “irritated”. I find it irritating in and of itself that
we even have to take time to do this when I have a kitchen to clean and a book
to be read.
But we did it nonetheless and moved on with our day.
Things are changing around here. And for the first time
in our lives…I am not the one doing the changing. And that……is
even more shocking than forgetting the meat,
Stay tuned for more future fun!
