We have been trying to rack our brains lately trying to
figure out what is exactly out of whack? What happened to our lives and schedules?
Where did our lives go exactly?
Skiing
schedule is the answer. Second answer is teenager social lives.
I am so very happy that we did not get sucked into this
many years ago. Or hockey for that matter or soccer. I am very thankful for our
choices. Someone the other day asked me why we pay for the school we do for our
three kids and the biggest reason amongst many is probably the schedule. The
sports are part of the curriculumn-engrained in the day and right after school.
It allows them to do just as many dance and sports as anyone else (probably much
more) but at the same times allows our family to have a life. Nobody misses
out. Weekends were always sports too but limited.
Up until now it has been a winning formula.
Then came having a teen with a job, an almost licence and
another one in full on U-14 competitions at 100 percent. All of them getting
active social loves at cottage. Recipe of disaster.
And part of it is fun of course! And amazing to watch
them grow and change and bloom and be passionate about what they do…love so
many parts of it. But what are we missing out on?
Too
much. Family time. Relaxed time together. Moments when one of
more are exhausted and irritated and falling asleep on the couch from the weight
of the routine. We are missing the liberty of seeing friends on special occasions,
and seeing extended family. Planning anything spontaeounous or even keeping to
the traditions that are so heavily established and engrained over the years
with the ones we love. When we look back at pictures of wonderful moments it is
not the ones of the kayak competitons and ski races that we frame. It is the
moments of parties, and get- togethers and of occasions and vacations. Now the
sports are erasing those-there are hardly any pics.
In my opinion….doing this for years and years and
childhood and adolescence is not worth it. Unless your kid is going to the Olympics…..what
a circus. I am glad to have experienced both so I know what I really think. To
be able to see both sides of it all. And
to be fair one part we have not embraced the hoopla and social life that goes with
it-our friends are not at the ski hill. Competing demands. We have not
integrated fully. We resist. We don’t want to be the ski moms, or soccer
parents, or hockey widows. We don’t relate to it.
For me there is just so much more than this schedule and
quite frankly with this schedule there is nothing else possible unless you have
one parent fully devoted at home. We are
succumbing and doing it-but I am glad we have fended it of for many yrs. I am
glad we have protected our family time from the outside world and made
beautiful moments in between. I am glad we have said no to parties at the
cottage on Saturday nights and early morning practices at 6:30am. Our family
was much stronger before this winter-the schedules have damaged us and taken
over.And it is far from over –there are many more years left of this.
The supply
is less than the demand these days and we are running out of
fuel. I believe in lots of fuel and having more than less in case of
emergencies. Our demand these days far outweighs our supply.
There is something magical about winters at the cottage
and has still felt some of that magic this winter for sure but on most weekends
the magic is not there anymore. There is no time to feel it. No time to call
that friend in need, or read that beautiful book. No time to have friends up or
visit friends. No time to think or sleep or feel. Part of it has been beautiful
and part of it has been hard.
One more month of this and I don’t know whether to laugh
or cry. That is how little time I have to not even know how I feel?
I am glad for this experience and I am am glad for all
the years before we chose differently.
When my kids look back on life I want them to have more
in it to remember than their passion for skiing. It’s part of their lives but
their schedules make it all of our lives.
I want More. More Life, Please!
