Floating

It’s amazing how soft and brilliant and loving I become-when I claim the gift of time. The ability to just be, not to do, to plan or to organize just to behold nothingness. It's in this world that I am at my best.
My clearest moments of thought are floating on my boat-wind in my hair and sun on my face. Blackberry away, homework on the shelf for the summer and to do lists tucked away.
I begin to dream...to allow myself to think and feel about what matters most to me in the world. To indulge myself with extra-long cuddles with my husband and tender kisses on my kids foreheads.

Luxurious summer vacation at the cottage. Could anything be more precious?
But how to bring this fantasy 3 weeks into our real lives daily? Yes.. I try to bring parts of rest and relaxation and recovery into our daily and weekly life but it is not the same.
Is three weeks of a happy and rested Mom enough to sustain and anchor my children-does it fill them enough? Does it fill me enough?
How do you get "relax, enjoy and get that floating feeling" onto that crowded to do list-and if it does make itself on there by some miracle, how do you experience it in the same way that you do when you have days and weeks ahead of you as opposed to minutes?

I need to find that floating feeling and bring it into my daily life. I need to bottle me at my best and sprinkle its dust on the ones I love every day and not only on our vacations.
The ideal world for me would be one in which you wouldn't need a vacation be your whole life is one big float in the park.


Who am I fooling though-if these 3 weeks were my normal life chances are I would have been locked away a long time ago! I may complain a lot but the real truth is the sweet smell of my 10000 emails, the chaos of my house, my hundred to do lists and me barking out orders-is really quite enjoyable to me and lovely in fact. The anticipation of leaving that life for 3 weeks-and the comfort of knowing I will go back to it all soon is what makes the floating, and relaxing and sunbathing and luxuriating so special and unique. Ultimately it's why it's called a vacation!!!
So big  goal for September...find a way bring a dose of this feeling into our normal lives. To hug longer, kiss more, say yes more often to that extra dessert or late night dip in the pool. Then if our vacation ever does get cancelled (my biggest fear ever-kind how some people feel about spiders!!) I know me (and my family) will be ok.