It's amazing how utterly terrified of outhouses I am. It's a really unnatural fear. I avoid them like the plague-I would rather hold in my pee indefinitely then have to visit the outhouse-or even peeing my pants would be a better option as far as I am concerned.
So this summer-our fave day of the summer when we go to our friend’s Holiday House for their annual lake regatta-as we get there Ms. Holiday announces the toilet broke and they rented an outhouse for the occasion.
There it was right in front of the cottage and my friend Ms. Holiday being the amazing woman she is even decorated it inside and out!!!! (my Protector joked she should start and a new business in outhouse decorating and they both had a good laugh, but I secretly thought to myself what a fab idea and started that night brainstorming how to make it happen!)
So I passed by it on way to front door and peeked at it out of the corner of my eye. I conjured up the plan to just drink very little and pee in the lake all day.
Come 6pm I had to desperately pee. By that time there were 27 of us at the cottage, I had changed into my supper clothes and thought it might look a bit suspicious if I changed back into my bathing suit and jumped into the lake by myself to cool off while everyone else was opting for a sweater-so I decided to collect my courage and go for it.
I asked my friend Ms. Holiday if she could stand outside the door just in case I fell into the hole or in case the door got locked forever. She said yes-I love this girl :).
So all was ok until she said outside the door -"so make sure you don't look down the hole" so of course I did-just like when my Mom used to say" be sure not to touch the hot pot". It's like a huge invitation no?
So anyways-I look down the hole and fear is replaced by gagging-and lots of it. When I say gagging I mean like the uncontrollable acid reflux one-with no acid. Poor Holiday has to listen to this while she is protecting me from the black hole.
Once the gagging stopped enough for me to reach for some toilet paper- I ran out as fast as I possibly could and opted for the washing of hands at the kitchen sink.
The point of this story is that despite my very real fear of outhouses-I would repeat every single moment of that perfect day. My love of friendship, cozy cottages and regattas and lakes far surpass any fear real or imagined that I have.
I looked at this group of people that we were with ,our Holidays and our Sweethearts and love swelled up in my heart. I would go pee in a thousand outhouses, day after day and year after year to be with this gang and spend the precious time that we do so often with them.
The best part of this entire story? When I got back to my own cottage I actually resented out bathroom a bit. I have always loved the simplicity of cottage life and when I took a look at my well intentioned Cape Cod decorated cottage bathroom-I felt like I was missing out a bit. I started aching for the outhouse . Although mainly I am scared of outhouses-what I am not scared of is experiences and the Holiday House to me that day and everyday always make me feel like I have lived when I have been there.
All in all-I think I will give up my fear of Outhouses from now on just in case next year the Holiday toilet is not working again and my fear lends to any possibility of me not getting invited back. Secondly, I think that in the future I will potentially be very involved with outhouses since Ms. Holiday will need an expert marketer like me to help her with her Decorating Outhouses profitability plan:)
