Classe Neige

Remember those  3-4 day of school outings when you were back in grade school in grade 1-5 where you go somewhere with your class, do a few sports, sleepover in bunks with your classmates and then come home to the welcoming arms of your Mom? Remember those?

How did you feel about them? Did they stir something in you?

Many adults and kids I speak to seem to feel plenty. These outings seemed to have had profound impact on their lives and really altered them in many ways.

They missed their Moms.

They brought teddy bears along

They loved being away from their parents and really grew up

They got their periods

They felt proud of the courage it took to be away from home for the week for the first time

They made friendships that lasted a lifetime

They felt independent and capable for the first time

They hated it

They loved it

My husband talks about his first Class Neige all the time. Very little from his childhood but this one comes up so often. Leaving his Mom who was in a wheelchair for the first time and feeling so guilty. Secretly craving to be with other children, and having wondered what took his parents so long to figure out he needed this desperate push? Wishing he had been the type of boy like some of his classmates that had confidence and found this experience easy and fun. Wondering why he was not as daring and as sure of himself? Wishing his parents had sent him to summer camps early on so that he did not miss out so much.

It stuck with him this Classe Neige. It fell into part of his suitcase of growing up. It made him in part him today.

So today I thought of Classe Neige often as it came to mind as people often ask me how I get my tween and teens to come to the cottage most weekends so willingly with minimal fuss (let’s be clear the fuss is not always mimimal!). It occurred to me that it’s a bit like Classe Neige for them and for us. There is always a sense as Friday night rolls around of -Do we have to do this? Do we have to leave our friends, spend time packing clothes and food and go there?

Even with my husband and I we often ask ourselves-how can we possibly have the energy? Why not hunker down, get in our pj’s and watch a movie and fall asleep in bed rather than driving 90 minutes, packing and unpacking and being left exhausted at the cottage at midnight? (and of course we all drive to the cottage in pj’s anyways as well as shop in our pj's eat dinner in our pj’s and pick up kids from friends in pj’s-it’s our family signature style in factJ. )

But then the next morning comes. And we wake up with this beautiful view of water and mountains. The sun shines or the rain falls on the tree tops. Everyone saunters out of bed, messy and tired and roll onto the couches to watch TV. We eat nutella and the kids make homade tabouli thoughout the day. We sit on the dock for morning coffee and muffins and watch mother ducks swim by with their 8 sweet little babies and we name them all. We eat delicious meals all together and have Greek yogurt and strawberries for dessert. Rocks are thrown into the lake, rides on the tubes, giggles on the trampoline and blogs written by the sun setting. Books are read, long conversations are had and the cool water refreshes us before stepping into bed. Conversations between Dads and kids happen as the work is done to be able to sustain this lovely place. Secrets are told and snuggles often. Food is always eaten by candlelight and magic is made.

Nature at its best. The perfection of simplicity and wonder.

And then we get to start it all over again on Sunday morning.

At the end of Sunday, it's all back to the complaining of packing and having to rush dinner, take quick showers and complete homework before we head home for the week again. We always ask ourselves «was it worth it?” .Too much trouble and work!

And the answer always seems to be yes. The kids don’t always openly admit it, but they know in their hearts how good it feels to be here. We focus on each other. They miss their friends here and often we feel guilty of pulling them away from that and their activities in the city, but we believe for our family life this is really the best for them. And Family is Forever. Friends (unfortunately but real) change often, hockey games are won or lost, hanging out in malls can get you into trouble. We have decided for as long as humanly possible…we will get into the country and to nature..together until our kids are kicking and screaming not to go (and even then we might just shove them and lock them in the car and drive away!!!)

A bit like Classe Neige. Having the kid who does not want to go-but forcing him anyways and himalways thanking you so much later for the push. Mixed emotions-wanting to go-but wanting to stay to in the comfort of home. Being a bit anxious of being out in the wilderness without close friends or family but by the end of the 3 days having bonds that last lifetimes with all of your classmates from experiencing something in nature together and not having the distractions of blackberries, TV and computers.

Nature has a way of getting to the core of people-especially families. ..Although hard to get ourselves here and leave all our friends behind…we know long term these moments won’t come along often so important to hold onto our kids while we can. The days are long but the years are short. I can already feel mine slipping away and very very quickly.

(By next year even my son might be too big to force into a car-he might attack me)

So I will happily send my kids to sleep away camp and eagerly sign the permission forms of Classe Neige. Kids getting out of their comfort zones is to me not only necessary for their social development but their belief in themselves and their confidence. I will push them out the doors if I have to with their sleeping bags and flashlights.

But then I will just as happily collect them cuddle them and keep them at the cottage for myself. A cool combination of keeping them near and letting them go far.

Our role as parents really .It all comes down Classe Neige.