It’s been on my mind often lately.
Because of a lot of reasons.
Passion.
It could have something to do with the Trilogy I am reading “Shades of Grey” I mean I am not quite shy to reveal on my blog I am reading this as is there any woman left on the earth who does not know who Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele are???
I love the passion between them. The sex is secondary to me, to their romance, their love, their enchantment with each other. I have never seen anything like it before (probably because it does not exist beyond a book).
I know a lot of people have passion in their lives and in their relationships (more the people dating, younger, been married less than 8 yrs, or having affairs)! But I have not seen a passion equivalent yet to Ms. Steele and Mr. Grey.
Oh My!
The passion that has been on my mind lately however has less to do with Escala and the Red Room and more to do with life itself.
I have realized in myself that over the last 6 months a part of me has been accessed that was not there before. I feel much more passionate. A friend and I were discussing yesterday that on my blog lately most of it is about parenting…and it is entirely true.
This has become a passion of mine as strange as that seems to me. I mean who would have thought that the Mom who can’t make a pie would end up obsessed with the topic of parenting? And sharing it and writing about it even more so.
Even at my place of work, completely outside of this domain entirely, I am known to walk up to the President, look him in the eye and ask “How are your kids? What are they up to for the summer?”
I am genuinely interested. As much as I am in the bottom line of the company. The two for me make up the one person. I cannot separate them. For me Work and the Family are one. They belong to each other. You love them both right?
When I spoke at my Dad’s funeral and said “It is now time to put a pen to paper and let music back into my heart” …I was not kidding it seems! There were words in me for so long that wanted to come out and now they seem to be flowing. Thanks Dad for giving me the peace to claim them back.
But besides the writing and the parenting, I am starting to understand what passion means to me. It means not going for the low lying fruit, it means reaching for the stars, not accepting no to get in the way, and being in the driver’s seat.
It means striving and loving every minute, sacrificing and not minding. It means not allowing in my life things that don’t make me happy or meet my expectations. It means deciding what I want and getting those things.
Passion for a person like me is a dangerous thing. When I want something. I make sure I get it. With passion as my fuel, who knows where that might take me? It scares me sometimes.
And it’s exciting to share passion. The same friend who told me yesterday that my blog is often about family…is on her own passionate route in life and I have been part of it. Seeing her sparkle. ..seeing this fire in her eyes…having her share it with me..Seeing her essentially free in her soul and at the core delights me to no end. Was I part of this beauty???
I will always know that we are on our passion journey together no matter how near or far. I will always take her with me, and me with her I am convinced. We will end up getting rich together in the simplest sense of the word. What was that expression she told me once about the reasons someone comes into your life? Passing? Purpose? Forever? A mix of all three? Do I have to choose one?
So my mind explores passion. My heart reads about Grey and Steele and part of it is passionate for me, and part of it is scary. Sometimes I run to the book and other times I run away from it. Part of me knows I have that in my life, and part of me knows that there is none of it and I want it.
Part of me wants a young, rich, sexy billionaire and the other part of me is more than content with the wealth I have in my own bed every night holding me and cuddling me and putting up with me.
And just like real passion, real life is complex. It is off an on and black and white with a whole lot of Grey mixed in. It comes and it goes. But one thing is for sure:
You sparkle a whole lot more when you are passionate. Life suddenly becomes more interesting because passion if it is inside of you and in your heart, and not just an act or an affair shared with a lover.
It is yours to keep. For good. It belongs to you.
Protect it.
