Our Goalless Summer

Too much of a good thing sometimes has the opposite effect.

I have always been a goal girl (and always will be). That being said, summer for me is the one time of year that I seem not to want to let any goals in at all ,as much as it would make sense because we have more time than ever to devote to them.

Last summer I was inspired by two of my favorite blogs, by the notion of summer goals for the kids and us too. Committing to certain goals, monitoring the achievement of them, rewarding for them. Having a reading plan for summer etc…..I have read many parenting books that advocate that having goals in summer is good for kids.

In theory it all made sense to me and my achievement oriented mind, so wanted to run it by the family at family night. Within milliseconds all four of them shouted “No Way!!!!” Guess that was clear enough.

What was interesting was that my husband’s voice was the loudest. He had a very strong opinion on this one which is unusual for him to take such a stand when it comes to the parenting routines.

So last summer and this summer and likely every summer thereafter is our time to rest, to relax, to just be and to generally be free. Free of any expectations, commitments and as few routines as possible. Of course the house gets cleaned, the kids have their duties, teeth get brushed, books get read (very few unfortunately by the kids), and conversations are had.

However, family nights are stopped for summer, we sleep in as late as possible on weekends and vacations, we eat dinner at times most people have been asleep for hours, we have nonsense amounts of people entertained and welcomed into our home and cottage, the kids have endless sleepovers and pool parties and rules are lessened as much as possible without sacrificing our kids safety or well-being!

We look forward to summers in the way that some people crave water in a desert. As far as Hubby and I go, we try to schedule the least possible, except for friends and family, we try to work less, play more, enjoy a ton, and push all unpleasant and mundane tasks as much a way from these 8-10 weeks as possible.

We adore summer and protect it with all of our hearts.

People often ask me how it is possible that my kids don’t play soccer like most of the friends do?. Our answer has always been clear-we are not willing to schedule our time in the summer more than work goes. We refuse to be bound to a schedule at this precious time of year for us. It has some definite cons for our kids, but also has some definite pros. We spend a ton of time together, we get to enjoy the weather together and most our summer are filled with long family dinners, after dinner swims and ice-cream cones. I have no idea if in the future this will be good or bad for my kids long term….but I am listening to my heart  on this one and it is clearly telling me to hold on to those kids for as long as I possibly can.

We just were not made for summer schedules.

And winter hockey? Can’t do it as have 3 avid skiers in this house (plus us more intermediate ones) and our passion for skiing and the cottage outdoes the passion for hockey (secretly I am thrilled!!!!!!)

 So we will have a goalless summer yet again. Part of me feels envious and jealous when I see or read about other families that seem to use this time to accomplish things that I know are important. I feel like maybe my kids will end up not be as well read, or as organized or as high reaching in life. Part of me wishes that my summer was full of goals as the rest of my year is and that my family would embrace this great idea.

There is a part of me that will always be a Tiger Mother-but that makes up likely less than half of me. The French way likely describes me the most. Ritualized, goal oriented but more than anything pleasure and leisure oriented . Grasping onto as much pleasure I can fit into this family for as long as I can (and screaming at them often to just have more fun)!

But part of me also knows that, as the kids get older I need to listen to them more. As I get older I need to listen to myself more and both know that summer goals are just not for us. So those goals for the moments will be neatly written on a to do list for fall and tucked away for another day.

For now we will happily be goal free and bask in the freedom of the next best moment.
Lessening the speed of the other seasons and the expectations too.  Giving our bodies, our souls and our minds a recovery break to be back into full gear for fall!