The kids are back from camp as of early this morning! We
are happy to have them home with us. The weather turned completely-huge wind storms
and big and heavy rain just in time for their arrivals.
(Doesn’t matter anyways. Two have been asleep on the
couch all day and one silent as she is exhausted).
The best part of this post is that: BEAUTY LOVED CAMP! After
all that fussing and crying and depression-she adored it. Even asked to go back
again next year (this is a first as some years she thinks camp is ok-but has
never loved it) I knew she would this year as older kids..lots of boys too…she
loved it.
So what is proved to me is my entire basis of my
parenting theory. Parents need to push. Gently and firmly. Push for what you
think is right for them even if that is majorly out of theirs (and sometimes
yours) comfort zone. You are the parent after all and not their friend. And you
have way more wisdom and life experience than they do. Use it well.
She almost had me that Beauty this time. Almost had been
convinced of her incapability to handle this. Can you imagine if I had let her
stay home and bore herself to death here with us for 12 days? Seeing her hug all her counsellors and friends,
all the pictures and smiling faces with her new buddies…if she had stayed home
it would have been a crime. And my fault.
And not because she would have missed out on a great
time..but because she would not have received the gift she just did: Confidence and capability. Knowing she
can manage under challenging circumstances. Get over a broken heart and make a
happy heart.
So I feel good today. Very very good. And very competent
in the parenting coaching I provide many others. My formula is a good one.
There are two very vivid and important memories that my Hubby
always talks about from his childhood which impacted his entire life. One was
his parents telling the teachers in grade 5 that he should not go to the
overnight classe neige camp at school because it was too hard and he would miss
his parents too much (aka they felt he was not capable).
His teacher called the
parents and told him this was wrong and that he had to go. They listened and he
went and had a good time (and yes did miss his mom and worried about her as she
was in wheelchair and ill his entire life). But he did it. And he had a great
time. And most of all he felt proud of himself and capable. He remembers that phone
call home from that teacher and describes it almost as if she was his savior.
She saved him from both himself and his parents from making the biggest mistake
of their lifetime. And I mean this…this experience and vote of confidence
affected him deeply.
He talks about it over and over and over again. And realizes
now that them not wanting him to go had nothing to do with him..but their own
insecurities. Not him. But thy placed their insecurities on him as the
scapegoat. Thank goodness for this brave and smart teacher.
I am so glad that he went. As the teacher eloquently described
to his parents “why should your son feel that he is not capable of leaving his parents
when the entire class is doing just that?
Do you really want him believing that he is not as capable and strong
and resilient as any other grade 5? Is this the message you want him to learn
about himself?”
I am glad that today he has become the type of Dad who believes
in his kids….in their power…and who does not get too affected by the little
daughter who begs him to sleep at camp with her. That he fundamentally knows
that his job is to love her, to believe in her and to have her believe in her
own capability. Not only by words but by actions. He is the type of Dad a girl
needs.
All three kids had a good time. Bear excellent, Beauty surprisingly
good and Chase good enough (he never speaks when he comes home for camp for the
first 24 hrs. so hard to know!)
With my kids they are bad with transition-takes them some
time to get back to normal. They are exhausted too and the
two boys had an all-night sleepover party in the gym with 35 adolescent boys (and
girls) last night and I think they are a bit overwhelmed and spent!
Beauty fell pretty much in love and “was one of the seven
couples in Junior section” Her new beau is about two feet tall and bought her a
huge pink striped lollipop from Laronde that says “I love you” She said he best part of camp were the two
slow dances last night. I honestly don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Picking those kids up today felt like a whole new world.
Not kids anymore but a young woman and two young men. Having lives and loves completely
separate than ours and unique to them. I barely recognized them and quickly realized
I needed to give them some “space” to say their goodbyes.
It made me realize how far they have all come. In their
growing up process..Their adolescence is fully underway and this camp made that
all the more real.
I love them all and am so happy they are home.
Even if they are asleep, ignoring us..or buried in their
Ipads-they are back safely at home.
