A girl at work said to me the other day” After you have
been married 8 yrs it is all the same” Oh no it is not my dear! Each year is unique..I would say every 5 yrs
massively different. 17 is not the same as 8 and not the same as 25.
It all changes..just as you do..just as he does..just as
you do as a couple.
It’s like saying a 5 yr old is the same as a 14 yrs old.
Not at all.I have friends at the cottage who have been married 25 yrs and they
keep telling us..”you just wait!” I could not agree more.
So yesterday was our 17th anniversary, A splendid
and lovely day. Perfect (and imperfect) in so many ways. I think we may have
done all my favorite things. Woke up differently in bed (uncle and mom stop
reading!)…..bit of reading in the shade…..I gave some gifts (notice the I part
this year?) kayak ride…lazy and
delicious lunch on the dock…lemon meringue homemade pie…long long beautiful boat
ride…nap on boat…reading on boat…throwing ourselves into water over and over
and over…..drinks and reading in shade on bali bed….. Special card and promise
of plastic bowls from Hubby (yup you heard right)….boat ride to village…going
out for delicious dinner..boat ride back in total dark and Hubby getting lost.
Me saving the day!!!!!!!! Sleeping out on dock on bali bed under the beautiful
stars freshly soaked in Jacuzzi…..waking up to birds chirping and sunshine again
and going straight into the lake. No kids for 5 days…Special special week
17 things that make it 17 and make it all us:
1-water people. He says his fave thing about me is that I
am a mermaid. I go in water anywhere and everywhere. He loves boats, sailing,
water water and water. Neither of us would ever consider marrying anyone who
felt sick on a boat-just would never ever work
2-.we stick together. We do stuff together. Vacation is
about us. Good memory as a child was my parents calling out “changing levels”
that is us too. We follow each other around like puppies do.
3-we stick together. We have had some very tough
times..still do. But we make it work. It is very very important for us to make
it work, put in the energy. We committed 17 yrs ago and had three children
together and we intend to keep it that way through thick and thin. Through
great times and hard times.
4-We talk about our work together. Often. I love this. We
share equally stressful and challenging and hard careers. We breathe the same
air. And therefore require the fresh home air like oxygen.
5-We protect out time and know what needs to be
protected. We shelter ourselves from alarms, dishwashers, works emails, dvds,
anything else that threatens our peace of mind while on vacation. Most people
want to do this..we do it. We need it. We make it happen.
6-We love our children to bits and think long term for
them and for our family. We parent together and every decision made is both for
their present and their futures and ours too. We have every intention of having
the blessing of babysitting many grandkids here at cottage…taking them to ski
lessons and teaching them how to waterski on a porte d'armoire.
7-We make time for what is important. Family, friends,
relaxation time, work. We prioritize together and re-prioritize often.
8-We try to improve ourselves for each other
9-We both agree that if one of us dies we want the other
to keep Trent and find happiness again (as long as we are buried together, have
lots of framed pictures of us together all around the house, and the new spouse
doesn’t mind that we will always be one and other’s number 1 and they will
always always be number 2J
10-We like stress. We like relaxation. We both live on adrenaline (and god we have a lot of it)
11-we love good food. Yummy food-not fancy food. A few
extra pounds will never be worth salads only. Carbs and cupcakes are alive and
well in this home.
12-We know our limits and we make them clear-to others
and to ourselves.
13-We feel gratitude and abundance for our lives every
day. We also know we have worked damn hard at work, at our marriage, at our
family to have what we do and we feel blessed.
14-We both understand that health is the most important
thing ever
15-we love each other as we are. Scars, imperfections. We
are both each other’s natural beauties
16-For either of us we both love love love our three
children and our cottage. These priorities are very clear
17-Every year has it’s flavor. This one is do it differently.Sometimes you have to give up in some ways...to give in.
Happy Anniversary!!!!! We made it!!!! It’s a blessing and
a miracle!!!!!!!
Love forever and always, Pookie Bear
