At different stages of our lives-we say hello to certain things
and goodbye to others.
Today is was goodbye to my trusted and true post it notes
that I often have on my bathroom mirror to remind me of certain things.
Nope they don’t read: Buy milk! Or Beauty dr apt at
3:30pm!
More like: Stop controlling others/be more affectionate/don’t
scream at husband or kids/ be more peaceful etc.. the list can go on and on.
Qualities or behaviors that I feel I should have but
often don’t. Or sometimes have but not enough. This post it’s reminding me to
be a certain way-or to strive to be anyways. This has been going on in different
forms for as long as I can remember. And very little progress to some degree if I am honest with myself.
But you see one important realization I had this weekend
is that we should not need a post it note to remember to hug someone? We should
just want to do it. Or a note to remind us to calm our tempers and not lash
out.
If we need a note-we actually need a lot more than a
note.
It’s like last week a colleague of mine were talking
about her daughter’s surgery that she recently went through and she said “how
did you possibly remember to wear your lucky charm chain for my daughter that
day” My answer was “because I care” I don’t need to remember. Ever.
Well clearly it is time to say goodbye to my post it
notes now. Why? Because it is time for me to deal with the why of some of the
behaviors need to be written down vs the fact that they are written down and
the goal being remembering to do them. And do them well.
It is to analyze why exactly I am not doing them and
figure that whole piece out.
And this weekend? I think I did figure out plenty.
Somehow I think peace, serenity, hugs affections, calmer
voices, less nagging, less controlling….are all going to be remembered a lot more
often.
Maybe not every day…but most days anyways.
And the days I do forget?
Well then the next day I will simply remember again. See I get to have a second chance..maybe even a third fifth. I am human.
Somehow controlling what I cannot control fell to the
bottom of my list this weekend along with being impeccable and trying to decide
the outcome on things? I was such a sweet loving girl this weekend-naturally.
I am exhausted and have reached my tipping point.
Which way shall I tip?
Faith and trusting people around me somehow sound very
very appealing to me.
Leaving the suitcase I have needed to lug around for some
many years now right where it belongs. At the door of the house I left when I
left it. Behind me.
I don’t need that suitcase anymore. And I certainly don’t
have room to take on more.
Nothing. Just like everyone else. Seems to work for them…time
for me to give it a good and honest try.
I will keep you "posted".
