Growing Up in front of Teenagers

There are a couple of things about having a teenager that really suck.

Especially a teenage boy.

In many ways it is like having one more adult added to your home. Like a second husband almost-but on the days when he is in your face and telling you all the things that are wrong with you.

Like those times right before your period when he really gets on our nerves and everything aggravates you? Except the teenage boy stays around and does that all month and all year long.

Picture that there are a ton of things you know are wrong with you. But most of the day, month, year you try to ignore those subtle parts and just move on joyfully. Well you can’t do that anymore with a teenager in the house it seems!

“Mom did you know that you talk too loud?””

“Mom it is really annoying when you exaggerate a story-it is a lie”

“Mom when you treat daddy like that you are dominating him”

“Mom has you ever heard of free speech? You can’t Control us you know”

“Mom why do you have a friend like that-she never seems to even call you-what’s the point since she has another BFF anyways?”

“Mom maybe your new boss will hate you and fire you”

“Mom that bathing suit is way too young for you to wear”

“Mom you should go to bed earlier then you would be in a better mood”

“Mom you are super annoying the way you nag us all the time”

“Mom people must be getting bored of your blog”

“Mom adults don’t drink milk” (what the f…. is wrong with good old dairy anyways???”)

Ok second rude husband like child-I have heard enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So what if I know you are right on all most levels? So what if most of this is said sweetly and not aggressively? So what if you speak the truth so often?

Shut up already! I am busy trying to repress all this- can’t you see this?

And then there’s the guilt factor of being a working mom which just gets even better as your kid turns into a man:

“Mom I know you work but are it responsible to leave a child with a gaping hole in his mouth from dental surgery in the house alone with another child who likely has Nora Virus from the cruise who is dizzy?”

Ok yes. Maybe I should have stayed home that day. Too bad next week I have to memorize a brand new course and give it to 25 senior people over three days next week and have no clue what is even in that huge binder because I am too busy speaking Spanish to the internet boss lately. And answering questions about areas even in English I have no clue about. And winging it in every direction! “Sure that sounds reasonable-yes I agree….let’s look at that Scott tool a bit more and adjust it”……What’s a Scott tool again?????? Hahahahah.

All I know is that aging gracefully is hard under the watchful eye of a 15.5 yr. old. Now each time I put on a shirt that shows my boobs I actually wonder if he will make fun of me! This is extremely boring.

Well thank goodness my husband is in a lovey dovey mood and is waking up each morning lately and telling me how beautiful I am and that I look like and angel while I sleep. I am sure soon he will say he is married and has some other  kids in California….or will ask me to take out yet another personal line of credit in my name so that he can have a glass frosted conference room. There has got to be a reason for this unusual and repetitive behavior right?

So yes living with a husband and a second husband now (who is way more verbal than the first!)…is quite something. I am scared of next year having that third husband join the fun.

Wait until my daughter goes through puberty and gets some boyfriends and a nose ring. Maybe then all this kind and lovely attention will get diverted to her:)

And they will leave me alone...happily nagging, talking in my loud voice to my non existent friends , in my tiny bikini, at work, loudly sipping my milk with a straw.