(cant post pics from cruise it seems so visit back in 2 weeks to see all the beauty of these european places)
That’s her nickname (pronounced mai-mai in a French way).
And she picked it out 6 months ago and demanded I call her that.
And she is a puzzle I tell you. This girl is a hard one
to understand in so many ways. Especially cormpared to her two brothers who
wear their hearts on their sleeves, say what they mean, mean what they say
etc..
But here in Europe I am starting to get her. Like as in a
lot. She is type of person that you need to spend a lot of time with to really
uncover. And she is very fun to peel . Just like a banana. Like a pretty little
onion with lots of layers. It’s a hell of a lot of fun.
And mainly? She is just totally different than my husband
and I and our boys. Her brain and the way it works is a fascination really. She
is so creative it is almost unimaginable. The videos she takes, the pictures,
the dances. The way she sees the world. And on this trip I am seeing her brain
at work. It is a privilege.
Seeing her take pictures is fascinating. She doesn’t just
see a diet coke or a lemon..She SEES a diet coke and a lemon and then she
arranges them and takes picture soft them in the most beautiful of ways. She
buys candies and arranges them on a napkin with a pocket of sugar and a splash
of water and then takes pictures of it and then transforms the picture with
lightning and music and tone. Unbelievable.
She takes videos all over the place herself dancing. In
the cathedral today she stated”I don’t pray..I dance” and began a massive dance
and video in the silent cathedral
And then her clothes…so stylish and lovely. Thank god we
don’t care about stuff like short shorts or shorts skirts. Because he wears
them all the time, really short, but really cutsy and feminine too. She is kinda like a happy days 1960 girl really retro with short puffy skirts) She does
not look sexy or provocative at all-she looks girlish and sweet. Sometimes even
tomboyish Her signature look is a bow in her hair always-love that. I love that
we let her be who she is-she totally expresses herself through fashion. I would
never have it any other way. She looks adorable (with slightly short skirts and
very long legs). The brace has done nothing to stop this as I feared it might.
I spent the day watching moms asking their tween to wear longer shorts and
skirts and mind what they watch on tube-I sat back calm as a cucumber Total
waste of time as far as I am concerned. Basket C or B in my buckets all the way. Let them be
who they are and test the waters!
And her moods are also something else. From playful to
funny, to bossy, to quiet and distant, to playful and giggly again. I am
uncovering her only because we have the gift of time together.
And this is EXACTLY why we do this in grade 6. Great age.
An amazing to be alone with each kids like this uninterrupted. For US o be her
only playmates…her only entertainment…it’s just us and her. When she left her
brothers she said “OMG…I can’t believe it –we have so many inside jokes-I will
miss them” Good!!! That’s the whole point, just you and us Girl for two weeks.
Needed. Best bonding experience of a lifetime.
So yes in the last 4 days we have fought her and I. She
drives me crazy-she can treat her Dad like a wet rag, she can insult me…..but
she is also a piece of artwork, a prize, a beautiful sculpture and a cherry on
top of the sweetest cake. She competes with me continuously, she is relentless,
and she is athletic, graceful and creative. She is direct, helpless and powerful
at the same time. She is mine and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
And she is not a pleaser. Not one single bit. Unlike me at
her age and beyond where I thought of nothing else then ensuring my parents
felt the least suffering and were the least distrurbed by my teenage phase.
She is a leader every single step of the way.
She is popular, powerful and confident. And she knows it.
She is whiny, annoying and disrespectful at times and she
knows that too.
Besides anything? She is a girl becoming in a woman. In
the last 6 months she has completely transformed. She is no longer our little
girl. She is the beginnings of a teenager. What we used to know-we don’t know
now. And then when she relaxes she becomes that little girl again far far away
from haing to impress anyone she knows.
She is our mehmeh and being her alone with her for two
weeks is both exhausting and exhilarating.
It is a gift
And I know that the unwrapping of her will both undo me
completely and I may never go back to who I was.
She is powerful this girl.
She has a huge heart for all animals, all those less
fortunate, the elderly, the very young. She is a true humanitarian and artist.
Inhabiting the home of very driven corporate people with lots of goals. Must be
hard.
I have realized she saves all her bad moods and attitude
for the people she knows love her most and unconditionally. She is otherwise
totally reserved and graceful and polite to everyone else. For us she makes it
known that the only real thing she cares about is dancing and anything else is
a big pain in the ass.
She arranges her food on a plate like a beautiful
palette. Watermelon, 2 brown eggs, 2 slices of ham, a bagel, Nutella and always
a treat like a sticky bun.
Did I ever think I would have a daughter anything less
than complex? For some reason I think I did think that. Clearly I don’t.
I am realizing that Mother Daughter relationships are
complicated. And beautiful too. It’d amazing to look into your girls eyes and
see yourself. Everything you wanted to be.. and everything you actually are in
so many ways. Just expressed differently. Watered from a different pot.
All I know is that sitting in the Jacuzzi today and the
cold pool juts me and she…was priceless. Was worth the whole trip. That 1-1
bonding time that only being away from siblings and friends (and sleeping
Daddy) could provide
