For those of you who don’t it I am a control freak. Duh???? No
news there for people who know me, deal with me, love me or work with me. I
have gotten better of the years for sure but just like all the other control
freaks I know that surround me-we are here to stay unfortunately.
My controlling issues are largely controlled a lot of the
time-but I derail under stress-and certain issues are huge triggers for me. I
have had a lot of triggers lately.
My sons new work schedule is one of them. Beauty’s ski competition
is another which this year since her last year we are doing almost 100 percent commitments
to vs 75% in other years. Bear is training to be a pre-monitor. Chase has his
permit for more than 6 months now and preparing to get his driver’s licence. Bear
does 6am trainings for kayak during the week. Beauty dances many days after
school and now includes Friday nights
And what do all of these things have in common? That
triggers me and my control freakiness?
1-Early early mornings so no sleeping in 7 days a week
now
2-I am not the one who chose them. They were hand-picked
by my kids
3-There is chaos much of the time because I don’t control
the schedule because they are getting too old for that (I guess).
Let’s give a few examples here:
Chases new job coincides with Beauty ski training. They are
at the same hill. Her timing is already lethal enough but now his timing is 30
mins earlier and 1 hr later than her. But that is some weeks and not others and
each week it changes and he might or not might find out on the Friday by email.
He has to be there 9 hrs but can get paid from anywhere between 0-4 hrs but
it is hugely important that he be there super early just to be sure and is
there super late. If he doesn’t do this he loses his bonus which total no joke about
12 dollars for the whole season. 12 dollars total that is just to be clear.
But I have to keep in kind this is a learning experience!!!!!!
Clearly for me as much as him!!!! Today I stopped holding myself back and
called the supervisor to get the hours clearly understood and was basically
told to…… you get the picture. And you know what I did?. I got off the phone
and cried. Yup. Cried. I have my period by the way.
Kayak at 6am-what a fun schedule! Before private school
where you need to be in uniform and have your lunch and computer and all has to
be perfect! Yup let’s tack on another hour of sweating and showering and carpooling!
When I said yes I was told that a mom would drive every morning as she liked
it-but that kid doesn’t go anymore! That leaves me and the other mom (neither
of us much liking getting up at 5:30am very much!)
And trust me I know all of these problems are self-imposed.
We choose them as a family (why is another question I guess). We are in the sandwich
part of life trying to balance what is
good short term (most of it sucks!) vs what will be good for the kids long term
(hopefully most of it). Short term pain for hopeful long term gain happens a
lot around here lately.
Anyways the list goes on and on. This is the hard part
about teens….they are deciding now and control things themselves-it’s part of
growing up and learning right? But for control freaks it is damn hard because
we know for sure we do it better so wouldn’t it just be simpler to skip the
learning and juts follow me and listen to me? And ps while they control the
schedules we still have to drive.
I mean last week I was taking a restorative yoga on a Friday
night and I was worried the whole time that because I left Chase and his girl
at home alone that in 9 months I might have a grandbaby???? And this is
supposed to be relaxing and restorative for me. Try again.
(I think my husband must not divorce me simply just to
avoid not having to share custody of the kids with me. Talk about a trigger for
a schedule control freak. I think he is happier just dealing with this! He and
I are both very clear that I would not be an easy partner to be divorced to.
Better to keep me under the same roof and cage me when I lose it.)
Raising teens is very very hard. Especially if you try
and do it the “right” way vs the “easy” way (once in a while I try very hard) Raising
three teens at the same time is downright heartbreaking for someone like me who
delights in writing activities in agendas and ticking them off as they happen.
I decided I was wrong and I am not ready to write a book about teens specifically yet. I need another
year of failure behind me before I start judging yours dear readers.
2 blog posts on same day! I must really need to vent!
