A good friend and I chatted about my word of the year
over text this week. I love this woman so much and admire her in so much in so many different way ways.
We are very good friends but also worked together-she really understands me and I
her. We have a very unique relationship.
I take her advice very seriously.
I asked her about my word and asked her for some advice on achieving it.
She and I have a lot in common. A lot. But at the core we
are fundamentally different people. Probably the most different than any friend
I have. We are each high performers and achieve success-but in very different
ways.
I loved hearing her perspective on flow in my life and
how I could get it.
When she texted and said I had to be more focused-I
re-read the text three times. Me more focused??? No one has even told me that
before-I am Mrs. Laser Focus always?? But she meant much more focused in what I
expect of myself and want to achieve in order to let more be spontaneous and
happen naturally and flow by itself in my life. To make much more room to flow
basically.
To narrow my focus from sooooo many areas that not only
do I want to succeed in, but do succeed in and not that I want in my life but
expect in my life to. She wanted me to reduce these areas of focus
considerably:
To two areas
Two things????????????????????????????????? Two hundred
or two?
She insisted on two. Two areas that are super important
to me that I would be very high performing and deliberate in-and the
others…..not so much and let the universe take care of them and trust the
process.
And then I would have time for flow in my life.
No wonder I have a hard time achieving flow!!! I am not
joking here I have at least 25 important areas that I focus on and probably
more like 50-60 if I am honest. Reading this text was like Chinese to me-it was
a different language, she talked about trusting the process and having the belief
that others could provide strategic direction to my children besides me. About
an eco-system in the universe that works towards making it all ok in the end.
To start considering what would happen if I did not always take action. At
first it made no sense to me-but suddenly
it did. It made a whole lot of sense and made me realise that the way I am
currently running my life and in parellel trying finding flow are opposites in many ways
I have no space to flow anymore. Or did I ever?
So it has been on my mind all weekend this ecosystem and
has influenced my mood and my actions and behaviours. On Hubby’s birthday I had
no expectations of myself or the day at all-and turned into a great one. It seemed
to work that day. I think it was amazing to hear this new way of thinking and
of behaving. I am so glad I got curious and asked the question as would never
ever have considered this perspective. And the fact that someone I respect and
admire so much that is very successful
was the one handing out the perspective was even sweeter. It works for her! Why not for me?
For me I think it will be something I toy with-try on for
size-have fun with. Invite more into my life. Practice sometimes. It will be
beneficial for sure.
But deep down I know it will not be the way I run my life
for the most part. Trusting the process is one thing…but having two areas of
focus is not enough for me. Like the name of our book “More, Life Please!”…I
will always want more. Two just won’t cut it. As I told my friend there has to
be a minimum of one focus per family member for me!!! My deliberateness as a
parent has paid off many times over already in so many ways…deliberate
parenting and planning to me is key and is what I stand for. In the last little
while I have seen so many great outcomes of this deliberateness and strategic
and long term vision that I have relied so heavily on during my life. I like
being deliberate. I adore it actually. There is nothing in life that makes me
prouder than when I know I focused on something important and made a difference
for myself or people surrounding me. When I have it in my head to help -and I
create magic around me..When I strategically decide to make a difference and I
do-by careful planning and action. And I
do this a whole lot. Maybe too much. I have a hand in many successful outcomes,
I am a fixer . It’s what I love to do and what people love me for. I have never
known any other way.
(Olivia Pope is who I am for those of you who watch
Scandal)
But clearly from my chosen word of the year-I also am seeking
something new, and this perspective might be just what I need to achieve the
results I want. Laser focus is hard work and exhausting especially if you use
this skill on virtually everything and everybody.
Less stress, less worry, less pain for gain. Simplicity,
health happiness and peace. Things I have a hell of a lot more of now that I
did a few years back but probably a lot less of than most people I know. I have
a lot of others things-a lot of happiness,
a lot of a ton of things….but serenity and peace and less stress? I will never
be abundant in that unless I change the way I live radically.
And radical for me right now is asking a lot of questions
and getting curious and listening intently to people I respect and sitting back
and really observing how other successful people around me live their lives. And
understanding how they live their lives exactly.
(future name of book!)
And then trying parts of it out for myself.
And when I do this I know for sure ….that I am discovering
flow.
Or more importantly flow is finding me
And flow will come…only when I stop trying to find it. So
I will try to try stop searching. And then maybe the universe will do its magic
on me instead of the other way aroundJ
