unforgettable moments that make up a beautiful life

I sat there last night so content, so in awe, so proud and so happy to be part of this family. This family in particular. My family.

There he was-so many things I wanted him to be that he is now. To be more clear- so many things I wanted him to feel and have that he now does. The happiness, the laughter the closeness with friends, the trust, the bonding, the confidence the leadership. And that he shares this with us so imitimately  at 17 yrs. old is even more impressive. I have always wanted to have this relationship with my son..All my children. I sat there basking in the sunlight he has always shone on me as his mother.

Last night we celebrated Chase’s bday out at a restaurant. It was always that kids could bring 1 friend to the restaurant or dinner and the 5 of us and my mom of course. Then they wanted two. This year Chase asked for three ! So we cut out anything remotely fancy and did fast food souvlaki. And we all had such a good time together. Really being  together. Was so cool.

I always worried about this kid. Forever it seems. Would he place the importance on friendship that I knew would make him happy? That I know is so special in life-would my kids do that? Could I help him? Would he build that village that I feel is so necessary for happiness and fulfillment? There he sat with these amazing three other boys and Bear and Beauty and I listened to their conversations. Music to my ears. They asked me questions too about my book! Wanted to see a picture of the front cover! We talked about Cegeps and parents and girlfriends and beer. It was amazing

If I think about flow and what gives me energy and  there is probably nothing like seeing a group of friends for me. Especially the kid’s friends. Being surrounded by them. Seeing my children interact with people other than us -close to them. It’s like a beautiful concert to me-a symphony of abilities, strengths, learnings, teachings and moments. It’s those moments that I pride myself in my parenting the most and is also my hardest critic. It’s like I see my kids come alive in these moments-I see what the world has in store for them

They give him a gift-kind of a joke bag full of crazy things that he opened one by one (a bathing cap, a rotten banana, his favorite book from grade 1, a beer cap, and they laugh and laugh and laugh and video it all to post on Facebook. I feel solid and good and feel all their abundance overflowing. They always say you can judge a person by the quality of friends they have-I could not agree more. I see him through all of their eyes. I feel so happy for him that he is surrounded by guys his age who are good to the core, bright, ambitions, loving, caring, smart . Cool-good looking, successful kids. I see what his future is shaping up to be. And I start to breathe better.

And they are all so appreciative. The thank you’s-the curiosity. But most of all that unlike all the teen books-they want to include us the parents –they want to include his siblings-they want to include my mom. And more importantly Chase does too. He is proud of us; proud of our ways, proud of our communication. We do not have a teen that isolates himself and disagrees with everything we say (only some things that we then negotiate on after big feuds). The books I read about sullen, unhappy, rebellious, confused teens are not applying to him.

And we leave there on his 17th bay celebration and know that I will always remember these moments. I will always remember his abundance of happiness. I will always remember the way he shared with us his beautiful life so gracefully. My thoughts are echoed by emails I get from Hubby and my Mom the next day commenting of how wonderful the night was and how beautiful. They get it. We have all three raised him together. Holding our breath at the same time letting it out at the same time. He has been our guinea pig and the one who worried us most. He is and was all of our first.

The way he winked at me during dinner-the way he gave his dad a hug and said “je t’aime, the way he  hugged each friend  to say thanks for the gifts-these huge 6’5 guys (vs our 5’6 guy) hugging-just love the confidence. The friends impecable manners: "Thank you so much for having us!" "And wow you must be so proud of yourself to have co authored a book- I cant wait to get a signed copy!"  His friend asking me if he could come to the cottage next weekend as he has weekend off and told me he cook help prepare Hubbys bday dinner that day and could I text him tomorrow to let him know if he could come to the cottage please?

Are you 17 yr old boys??? Really??? And I wished for girls all my life??
I adore raising a village of boys and girls who are teens. I could stay here forvever and just freeze time (when my kids are not screaming at  me I am an idiot that is)

I walked out of there and knew that instead of reading all the books on teens and how they are? It was time for me to get down and dirty about writing about what they could be. With very specific and important strategies in place used day after year and year after year. I felt last night finally that my coaching  expertise that has always 5-12 yrs. old in the work I do-now has moved to the teen years. It was a beautiful night and a comforting revelation both of his and my own future paths.

It all-just made sense last night.

What a lovely start to 2015. It feels so frigging good to write something positve and uplifting this year.