Last weekend I was at the skating rink and saw a lovely
scene. A Mom and daughter sitting together sharing a hot chocolate with their
heads and foreheads pressed together. It was so sweet among the hustle and
bustle of all the others putting on skates there these two darlings were in
their quiet corner with not a care in the world. The little girl was about 3 yrs.
old. I saw her face and only the back of her Mom’s head-foreheads together so
sweetly and intimately. They stayed in this intimate positon for many minutes.
In my head I was thinking of how much I envied them, envied that closeness of
mother and daughter, envied the bonding between them. Mostly envied the sheer
attention the mother gave her daughter-her capacity for this attention just for
that little girl. Making that little one feel like the most special one in the
world. I felt many things watching this scene in front of me.
Then
I walked to the other side of the skate cabana and saw IT.
The cell phone! The mom was not leaning in intimately to her daughter’s forehead
she was texting and looking down all this time! Like the rest of the wold and
the other moms in there. Like I probably would have done. She was
not better than anyone-she was just as bad and maybe even worse for making it
even look like she cared about her daughter and tricking us all.
Technology did it again. It ruined yet another moment.
Stole another mom being present with her child (or anyone else for that
matter). And the worst part was they kid did not mind at all. All kids now are
used to this. All normal for them. Every
moment of the day. They would probably be shocked if the mom was actually being
present and sharing a moment with her. She would probably be crying she would
be so shocked and scared.
The other night my own 13 yr. old questioned an adult’s
behavior. One of her friend’s moms was talking to my daughter and about 6 times
in 10 minutes texted in between Beauty’s answers. What type of conversation is
that? Why bother even having it? Beauty
asked me about it and asked me if this is normal. My answer was “not in our
family it is not but in most unfortunately it is”
This is the new normal
No wonder we have so many problems in the world. No
wonder people have any real connections anymore or real friends. No wonder most
people’s friends are virtual. This makes no sense. I am sorry but a web friend is
not the same as a real friend. Never. They take no effort, no upkeep and no
emotion. You can come and go as you please on line. In life you are expected to
show up.
I am so so so happy that smartphones did not exist when I
was raising little kids., They would have pulled me in too as although I would
not even consider texting in front of adults or others people kids during conversations
(unless for something urgent or exceptional)-. I would admit that I take my own
kids for granted too often and would have probably texted in front of them a lot when they were little or surfed
the net as little kids were never my cup of tea.
Puzzles, playing, story time never captured my attention.
They could never have competed with their phone. I would have been a totally different
mom than I am today. Now thank goodness my kids who are teen and their interests
interest me enough most of times to be present with them (with many times I try
and fail and go to the phone) but at least I am aware of it and make conscious efforts.At
least half the time or more I make good decisions that benefit our family life.
Thank God for the IPhone not having been invented when I
was a young mom. Too tempting.
